This little story takes place after Season 5 Episode 12. Spoilers may be included.
Categories: The L Word
, Shenny Characters:
Adele Channing, Alice Pieszecki, Bette Porter, Carmen de la Pica Morales, Helena Peabody, Jenny Schecter, Kit Porter, Max Sweeney, Molly Kroll, Niki Stevens, Paige Sobel, Shane McCutcheon, Sounder II, Tina Kennard
drama, friendshipSpoilers up through:
TLW Season 5Warnings:
angst, drug use/abuse, sarcasm, self injury, strong language
April 25, 2008 Updated:
March 12, 2009
1. Chapter 1: Don't Run, Stay by Shades_of_pure
2. Chapter 2: It's Not Perforating Everything Inside of Me by Shades_of_pure
3. Chapter 3: You Are All I Have Now by Shades_of_pure
4. Chapter 4: Scandalous by Shades_of_pure
5. Chapter 5: Stronger Than This by Shades_of_pure
6. Chapter 6: Will This Day Ever End? by Shades_of_pure
7. Chapter 7: What Will You Do for Me? by Shades_of_pure
Chapter 1: Don't Run, Stay by Shades_of_pure
No copyright infringement intended. All L Word characters owned by their creators.
You’ve broken my heart.
You’ve broken my heart.
A stream of smoke filtered out of her lips. She watched the shadow of Jenny pass by the front windows of their house. Their house…is it theirs anymore? Shane flicked the cigarette into the street and watched the glowing ember bounce off of the concrete. She had been sitting across the street from the house that she shared with Jenny and Max for hours. Debating on whether she should go inside or not. What would Jenny say, would she say anything at all? Hoping that Jenny would go to bed and that she would be able to sneak in without having to hear “Get out. You don’t live here anymore.” Shane knew she deserved to be kicked out, she would expect it.
You’ve broken my heart.
Those words echoed through her mind over and over.
“Fuck..” Shane whispered through gritted teeth and ran her hands through her tangled hair. Why did I do that? What was I thinking?
I was thinking that I should do what was expected of me. No! That was just a weak cop out. I messed up the one thing I cherished more than anything. I hurt the one person I never wanted to hurt. She lit up another cigarette and blinked as a car pulled in front of their house. It was Tom’s car. She watched as Max leaned over and kissed Tom and then got out of his car. Max smiled as Tom drove away. He caught something shift from the corner of his eye and he turned to look across the street. He saw Shane sitting in the grass with her lean legs pulled up to her chest. His eyebrows scrunched together in confusion, he looked down the street once more after Tom’s car and then he walked over to her.
“Hey, Shane.” Max called out.
“Hey..” Shane said quietly.
“What are you doing over here?” Max asked standing in front of the thin woman.
“Waiting.” She pulled a drag from the cigarette and wrinkled her nose at the bitter taste.
“Waiting? For what?” Max looked behind him and saw that the lights were on in the house still.
“I don’t know.” Shane exhaled the smoke, then hesitated before saying. “I fucked up.”
Max sat down next to Shane and waited for her to explain.
“ I don’t know why I did it? I could give all kinds of bull shit excuses, but that’s all they would be. They would just be excuses.” Shane flicked her cigarette.
“I don’t think I’m following you. Did something happen between you and Molly?”
Shane let out a small laugh. “ Yeah that is just one of the things. I broke it off with Molly, but that was nothing compared to what I did tonight.”
Shane looked at Max. Max who had always been there to listen. Max who was always the one who was so observant and knew things before anyone else. “It can’t be that bad, Shane.”
Before she could stop herself. “ I fucked Niki and Jenny caught us.”
Max’s eyes widened. “Oh…”
“ I have no fucking excuse for what I did, I just did it.”
Max stayed silent.
“And the look on her face…Max it wasn’t like anything I’ve ever seen before. The hurt, the disappointment it was..” Shane’s voice trailed off.
“Have you talked to her?” Max looked up at their house.
“She’s your best friend and this…this is so fucking fucked up.” Max sighed. “This is your way of hurting yourself Shane. Jenny cut herself when she was punishing herself and you sabotage anything that makes you happy. This is your way of punishing yourself.”
“I don’t deserve to be happy, I hurt everyone I touch.” Shane’s voice cracked.
Max put his hand on Shane’s shoulder. “Everyone deserves to be happy, Shane and that includes you. It’s time that you realize that. You aren’t this cold monster that you think everyone expects you to be.”
“All of my friends think…”
“No they don’t. That’s not true.” Max interrupted her.
“Phyllis told me what Bette and Alice really think about me.” Shane said.
“Why would you listen to her? Think for yourself damn it.” Max stared at Shane who was looking at her shoes. “Listen, go stay in the studio tonight and I’ll sleep in your room. Get some sleep and we will figure out what to do in the morning. You are going to have to give Jenny some time.”
“I don’t want to lose my home and I can’t lose Jenny. I can’t.” Shane felt hot tears fall down her cheeks.
“I know…come on.” Max stood up and held out his hand to Shane. Shane looked at his hand and then finally allowed herself to be pulled to stand up.
“Thanks Max.” Shane whispered.
Jenny’s head swirled to the sound of the back door opening. Her stomach did somersaults until she realized it was Max coming in and not Shane. Her onyx hair down from the bun she had worn for the wrap party, but she still wore the black dress. Max thought she looked so tiny sitting on the couch with the billowing skirt of her dress surrounding her like a black cloud.
“Hi.” Max said carefully.
Jenny reached up and wiped tears away with both of her hands. “ Hi Max, I thought you were Shane.”
Max set his keys on the table in the kitchen and walked slowly into the living room. “No, she’s in the studio.”
Jenny’s childlike eyes glossed over again and tears slipped down her pale cheeks. “Is she?”
Max only nodded. They stared at each other for what seemed hours, but was really minutes.
“She told you.” Jenny said, it wasn’t a question.
“Yeah.” Max sat down on the other end of the couch. “ Do you want to talk about it?”
Jenny shook her head no and patted down the skirt of her dress.
“Ok.” Max stood up and started to walk towards Shane’s room.
“I can’t believe it.” Max sat back down. “She just has no fucking heart. We had this huge talk that night that I was fired from the movie and she said that she was my best friend, that she would …I trusted her. During that talk I realized…”
Jenny started to sob and just held her small hands over her eyes. Max leaned over and placed his hands on Jenny’s knee, attempting to comfort her. He was patient allowing her to take her time. When the sobs slowed a bit, Max asked quietly, “What did you realize?”
Jenny looked up and tucked her hair behind her ears. “ I guess it doesn’t matter anymore.” The sobs came again, Jenny gasping for air between. “I just never…who gives a fuck, huh? She didn’t, she didn’t care at all. Oh god..my heart is just aching.” Jenny looked up at Max. "Does that sound stupid?"
Max shook his head quickly."No Jen."
Jenny clutched at her chest and then moved to lay her head in Max’s lap. Max put an arm over Jenny’s shoulder and rocked the small woman slowly, petting her head. He stayed there with Jenny for the rest of the night whispering soft words of comfort, knowing he was not the one who could make this better, that only Shane would be able to do that. He only hoped that it was not impossible now.
Shane lay on her side, breathing quietly, she heard a shuffle behind her and she quickly rolled over to look at what had made the sound. She wiped her eyes at the sight of the woman sitting on Max’s weight bench. The woman stared back at her with a frown on her face, chocolate colored hair pulled up and her cobalt dress shifted as she crossed her legs.
“Molly?” Shane said squinting her eyes.
Molly nodded and stood up. “Jesus Christ Shane. What the hell were you thinking? I guess I shouldn’t ask that, you just don‘t seem make the right judgment calls these days. What do you think Paige?”
Molly looked over at the tall woman, who leaned against the window. Paige crossed her arms over her chest and smirked. She shook her head, her blonde hair moving with each motion.
“The whole thing was brainless yes, surprising no.” Paige sighed. “Have you thought of seeing a therapist for all of your abandonment issues. Wait! Is what Shane has called abandonment issues, if she is the one who abandons people, Carmen?”
Shane jumped when she saw Carmen sitting on Max’s bed, still beautiful in her white wedding dress, she laid down her bouquet on the bed. “No I don’t think so Paige. I’m not sure what they call that.”
Carmen looked over at Shane. “What’s your assessment, Shane?”
Shane backed up into the corner of the bed, pulling the sheets up to her chin. “What are you doing here?”
“We thought maybe we could give you a reality check.” Paige said moving over to Molly.
“Or we could always hit you in the head with a brick. Maybe that would dislodge whatever you have stuck in your mind, that makes you have this distorted view of who you think you need to be.” Molly said.
Carmen stood up and nodded. “ Yeah a brick could work or maybe a crowbar.”
Paige picked up a dumbbell. “One of these could work.”
Shane held up her hands fast. “OK NO ONE IS HITTING ME WITH ANYTHING!”
Paige put down the dumbbell. “ Oh fine.”
“Listen Shane, you gotta stop doing this to people who love you…and yourself or it’s going to be a very lonely life for you.” Carmen said quietly.
“I deserve to be lonely.” Shane muttered.
Molly rolled her eyes. “Oh please, enough with the self pity bull shit. You need to get some balls and for once deal with that demon in your head.”
“You need to start with Jenny. Make this right, she loves you.” Carmen started to fiddle with her veil and then finally took it off, throwing it over to Paige.
“How?” Shane asked. “I mean I love her too, but if I were her I don’t think I would forgive me.”
Paige threw the veil in the garbage and walked up behind Carmen. “She doesn’t know ladies.”
“Know what?” Shane said looking at each of the women.
“Talk to Jenny and you’ll see.” Paige said and then faded away.
“And stop being such a dumb fuck.” Molly said as she disappeared.
“What if she won’t talk to me?” Shane said to Carmen.
“Then you keep trying until she does. Find a way to make this right, for once. Don‘t run, stay and face your mistake.” Carmen smiled softly.
Shane’s eyes snapped open and she sat up suddenly, looking around the studio. She continued to stare around the room waiting for one of her exes to pop up again. Then took in a deep breath when she understood that she had been dreaming. She looked around once more before laying back down.
Chapter 2: It's Not Perforating Everything Inside of Me by Shades_of_pure
Confrontation galore. No copyright infringement intended. All L Word characters are owned by their creators.
Tina rubbed her face before taking a drink of her coffee. She looked over at Angelica , who was playing with her cheerios that were scattered on the table of her high chair. Bette slipped into the kitchen and kissed the top of Tina’s head.
“Good morning.” Bette said tiredly.
Tina smiled. “ Morning.”
Bette poured herself some coffee. “What a night.”
Tina nodded and reached over to touch Angelica’s soft curls.
“I have to tell Jenny about the ending of Lez Girls, but I think that I’m going to wait awhile.” Tina sighed.
Bette blew on her coffee. “What do you think that was all about? I mean her speech and then that scene with Shane.” Bette sat down.
“I have a pretty good idea what was going on with Shane.” Tina muttered.
“Fucking Shane.” Bette shook her head. “I’ll talk with her later.”
Tina nodded and got up. “I need to brainstorm and come up with a way to stop this bull shit with the film. You do damage control with Shane, if that’s possible.”
Tina started to walk away, but thought better and moved to Bette. “Thank you for being there with me last night. It meant everything.”
Bette smiled and pulled Tina to her, kissing her softly. “Of course.”
Alice sat in the make up chair , she stared forward as the hairstylist and make up artist surrounded her , primping her for The Look. She pulled out her cell phone and dialed.
Shane was lying on her stomach when her cell phone rang. She groaned and looked at the little screen.
“What!?” Shane moaned.
Alice rolled her eyes and tried to think of what to say.
Shane scrunched her eyebrows together when she heard nothing. “Al?” Shane turned onto her back.
“So…” Alice started.
Shane slapped her forehead. “Just say it.”
“What the frick happened last night, Shane?” Alice said fast, looking at the make up artist, giving her a curt smile.
“I don’t know.”
“Talk to me, tell me what the hell is going on.” Alice whined.
Shane sat up. “If I tell you what’s going on,are you going to talk about it on The Look?”
“That’s a fucked up thing to say.” Alice slitted her eyes.
“I mean it Alice. You can’t keep anything to yourself. I know you told Phyllis about what I did to Carmen.” Shane angrily.
“What are you talking about?” Alice asked and then shooed the make up artist and stylist away, with her hands.
“Nothing.” Shane sighed.
“Fine, listen , I want to meet up after I’m done here. Can you do that? Do you need a place to stay?” Alice sat back in her chair.
“I don’t know, if I do, I can’t stay with you. Isn’t Tasha there?” Shane said.
“Yeah but if you need a place to go, I’m here for you. Even though I don’t know what happened yet, but I think I know. “ Alice waited for Shane to give her details and rolled her eyes when she got nothing. “God, you really aren’t going to tell me are you?“
Shane smirked to herself. “Not right now, Alice.”
“Okay can we meet up later to talk? I need to talk to you about..well it’s about something Jenny said last night.” Alice said carefully.
“What?” Shane asked concerned.
“Have you ever thought that Jenny might look at you as more than…you know, a friend? Like maybe she may want more.” Alice stammered.
It was Shane’s turn to roll her eyes. “Yeah, I’m so sure.”
“Look we can talk about it later.” Alice hung up.
Jenny stared at her blank computer screen. She had been sitting there for over an hour. She had finally changed out of her dress and into jeans and a t shirt. Her head snapped to the side when she heard a knock at the door. Jenny took a deep breath and walked to the door. She peeked out the window.. Her hand rested on the door knob for a few minutes. The knock came louder and Jenny jumped. She finally pulled the door open.
Niki stood at the door, sunglasses hid her eyes. “Hey can I come in?”
Jenny stepped out the door, causing Niki to step back.
Niki looked at her hands. “I’ll take that as a no.”
Jenny nodded and shrugged her shoulders. “What are you doing here?”
“I just feel terrible about what happened.” Niki started. “You know, Shane had ended things with Molly and you stopped talking to me. I think we both were…”
“Did you memorize this before you came here?” Jenny asked firmly, her usually soft voice, now strong.
“What? Of course not.” Niki said quickly, pulling her sunglasses off.
“I have one question. Why didn’t you leave with me when I was fired from the set?” Jenny stared into Niki’s eyes.
Niki looked away. “You know I couldn’t go with you. I wanted to stay and make this movie the way you wanted it.’
“Bull shit.” Jenny shook her head.
“I was under contract, if I left, there would have been a lawsuit…”
“Ok, then why didn’t you call me and if or when I didn’t answer, why didn’t you come to the house or at least come find me?” Jenny was hoping for the right answer, hoping that it would be something that changed everything. But the truth was, nothing Niki could say would change this.
Niki watched Jenny for a minute and then looked down. “Thanks for not answering that.” Jenny turned to go back into the house.
Nikki stuttered, “But if you just wait,I can explain, maybe you will understand about what happened.”
“I understand, Niki. “Jenny said spinning around and crossing her arms. “I understand that you have a career that means everything to you. I understand that you had to make the decision between your career and us. I understood it very well that I did not mean as much to you as I thought I did. I allowed myself to get so wrapped up in what was going on between us….”
“When you said that I had broken your heart, it made me recognize what I was losing.” Niki stepped closer to Jenny.
“Why would it take having my best friends head between your legs, at the wrap party and me just happening to see, for you appreciate what you may have lost? Does that really make sense to you?” Jenny said loudly before Niki could touch her, causing Niki to jerk slightly. “Besides I wasn’t talking to you.”
“But I thought..” Niki whispered.
“No I wasn’t talking about you, when I said that.” Jenny said again. “I can not forgive you for being part of tainting the one relationship that I thought could never be touched. I don’t just blame you, actually seeing you do that was not even very surprising. But what I had with Shane was pure and genuine.”
“What about what we have. I’m in love with you.” Nikki cried.
Jenny gazed at the young actress. “I know, but losing you, while it is painful. It’s not perforating everything inside of me.”
Jenny opened her door , she glanced at Niki once before closing the door. She waited until she knew that Niki had left and slid down the door, pulling her knees up to her chest. She ran her hands through her hair, pushing her bangs out of her eyes and then pulled her hair over one shoulder. She looked up to the ceiling and then looked at the lap top laying open on the table. Suddenly a figure came into her line of vision. The figure seemed to stop dead cold.
“I uhmm…” Shane pointed back to her room. “was just getting a change…a change of clothes and now I’m leaving.”
Jenny crooked her head to the side and watched as Shane started to walk swiftly to the back door. The small girl’s stomach turning.
“Shane…” she managed.
Shane stopped, but couldn’t turn to look at Jenny.
“Look at me.” Jenny had gotten up and was a little closer. Shane finally turned and glanced at Jenny. “You’ve always stood by me. You’ve always had my back. Last night before..well I had been thinking about how you knew me, really knew me. You understood why I am the way I am and you not only accepted it, you showed me unconditional love. And..I loved you for that. I adored you for it.”
Shane nodded slowly, looking down , feeling a tear fight it’s way out of the corner of her eye.
“I thought that I understood why you are the way you are.” Jenny said clearly.
“Jenny I am your friend, I swear.” Shane croaked, the tears falling without restraint.
Jenny’s heart lurched as she watched Shane sob, she wanted to reach to her, but she stood still. “You keep saying that…I don’t believe you right now. The woman I knew, that I lov..you would never betray me like this. Never. I can not even comprehend why you did it. To be honest, I don’t think you know either.”
Shane stepped closer to her. “ Please tell me what I can do…please.”
Jenny held back her own tears. “I don’t know, Shane.”
They stared at each other.
“Do you want me to move out?” Shane asked.
“No. I will. I think it would be best if you stayed in the studio until I find another place.”
Shane felt her heart drop. She wanted to beg Jenny not to go. She want her to tell Shane how to fix this.
Tell me how to make things go back to the way they were. Shane thought.
Shane looked up and realized that Jenny had left to her bedroom, shutting the door quietly. She wiped at her eyes then turned and stalked out the back door.
As soon as she closed the door, Jenny covered her mouth to stifle the cry that wanted to come out. She stared at the white and black comforter on her bed and then sat down.
Chapter 3: You Are All I Have Now by Shades_of_pure
I know this chapter is pretty short, but I'm working on another chapter that should be a bit longer.
Shane stomped into the studio and threw the clothes she had grabbed from her room, against the wall. She leaned forward and gasped for air.
“Fuck I can’t breathe!” Shane thought.
Shane squatted and waited for the calmness to hit her, the tears were still searing her cheeks and she did nothing to wipe them away. She rocked slightly on her feet, breath finally coming from her mouth. Shane stood up and looked around the studio, not knowing what she was looking for, but feeling panicked. Shane grabbed her keys to her Jeep and slipped out of the studio.
Where am I going? No, I can’t just take off, I can’t run this time. Fuck..
Shane walked back into the house and went into her room. She glanced at Max who was sleeping in her bed and Shane remained quiet. She walked to the closet and searched for the bag holding her camera.
“Shane? What are you doing?” Max had called from the bed.
Shane didn’t look back only grabbed the camera bag. “Sorry Max, I’ll be out of here in a minute.”
Max yawned and mumbled something before falling back asleep. Shane turned around and caught a glimpse of something sitting on her bed stand. The bong that she and Jenny had smoked out of the night Jenny got fired from the film. Shane stared at it for a long time…
~ Max sat back in the chair holding the strong smoke into his lungs.
“Nikki just stood there, Max. She made me look like an idiot.” Jenny said quietly, as she lay her head on Shane’s shoulder.
“But not this one.” Jenny rubbed Shane’s arm affectionately. “Shane was the only one to back me up.”
Max blew out the smoke and looked at the two, he realized how Jenny was gazing at Shane. Like she was the only person in the room. “I’m not surprised about Nikki.”
Shane squinted and peeked at Max. “I know, right? That bitch is trouble.”
“Why..” Jenny lifted her head up. “Why doesn’t that surprise you?”
“Well.” Max set down the bong back onto the table. “First of all, she’s really young and seemed to fall in love pretty fast. Second of all, you can tell that her career comes first. Is it me or did she sound like she was always rehearsing dialogue in regular conversations? I guess that’s the actress in her..or whatever. Sorry Jen.”
Jenny frowned her mouth a bit and nodded slowly. “I’m over it.” The small woman snuggled back up against Shane and sighed. “Fuck them!”
“Yeah fuck ‘em!” Shane said and then went silent for a moment. Suddenly she sat up slightly. “Did I just say something?”
Max shook his head and laughed. Shane fell back against the couch, her eyes closing. “Thanks for the hit guys.”
Shane did not open her eyes, but lifted up her hand to give him a thumbs up. Max looked at the two cuddled on the couch and smiled softly. “I need to go work on this new pod cast. Good night.”
“Night Max.” Jenny’s quiet voice said, as Shane gave the thumbs up again. Jenny peered up at Shane, who seemed to be dozing off. She reached up and brushed a piece of hair across Shane’s forehead. A small smile curved the sides of the hairdressers lips.
“You’re all I have now, Shane.” Jenny whispered and placed a small kiss next to Shane’s lips, like she always did. Jenny pulled back and stared at Shane, her big eyes glowing almost as she gazed at her best friend.
Shane’s eyes fluttered opened, she found herself looking back into Jenny’s. “Are you comfortable? Did you say something?”
They had fallen asleep like that on the couch for most of the night. When Shane had woken up and realized that they were still on the couch, she thought she might get up and go to her room, but she didn’t want to wake up Jenny. She just curled the writer closer to her and fell back asleep.~
Shane shook her head from the memory and walked out of the bedroom. She glanced around the silent house and placed the camera bag on her shoulder, before scrambling out of the house. She walked out to her Jeep and started to unlock the doors. She looked down at her clothes and growled when she remembered that she still had the clothes on that she wore the day before. Shane ran back to the studio and almost collided with Bette.
“Oh shit!” Bette jumped. “Hey.”
“Sorry…sorry.” Shane mumbled.
“How are you doing?” Bette asked stepping back slightly.
“Shitty. You?” Shane ran her hands through her hair.
“I’m ok. I was going to ask you if you wanted to go get something to eat maybe.” Bette said carefully.
“Uhm…” Shane looked back towards the house and then back at Bette. “Sure, I need to change first, can you wait?”
Bette nodded. “Of course.”
Bette placed her hands on the dashboard as Shane swerved in and out of traffic. She had been driving like a maniac from the moment that they got into the Jeep. Bette was not liking this one bit.
“Shane what’s going on?” Bette said keeping her eyes on the road. “Maybe we could pull over and talk….FUCK!” The end of the sentence reaching unbelievable octaves, as the Jeep almost clipped the side of another car. The car honked at Shane as they passed.
“MUNCH ON THIS NIMROD!” Shane yelled back at the other driver, giving them the finger.
“Ok, can we just please pull over and talk?” Bette asked.
Shane held onto the steering wheel until her knuckles were white. “We will be at the Planet soon.”
“Shane! You are going to fucking kill us before we get there!” Bette’s eyes got wider when she saw Shane approaching a little too closely to the rear end of the car in front of her. Bette immediately covered her eyes. “Fine, just tell me when we get there, please.”
Shane rolled her eyes and then honked her own horn. “Uhm, helloooooooooo the speed limit isn‘t 15 asshole!”
Shane walked into the Planet and shook her hair out, she spotted Kit and pointed to her , smiling. As Shane walked to the counter, Bette followed behind her slowly. She looked around the place and tried to fix her hair nonchalantly. Kit glanced at her sister and then quickly did a double take.
“What the hell happened to you?” Kit asked putting a hand on her hip.
Bette’s hair was sticking out in all directions. “I don’t care if I‘m bleeding to death and Shane is the last person on earth to drive me to a hospital, I am never driving with Shane again!”
Shane smirked and Kit laughed. Bette gave them both the shut-the fuck-up look, which made them both laugh harder.
“Do you want some coffee or food, Shane?” Kit asked still laughing.
Shane shrugged. “I‘ll take some coffee first.”
“You got it, what about you, sis?” Kit said waving at Alice who was sprinting through the door.
“That new fruit salad, please.” Bette continued trying to get her hair back to its perfection.
“Hi ladies.” Alice said making her way to the counter. “Trying out a new hairstyle, Bette?”
Bette sighed and walked back to the bathroom. Alice watched her then looked back at Shane. “What’s with her?”
Shane shrugged. “Her hair is out of control and she doesn’t like it.”
“Ahh.” Alice nodded. “You look like shit.”
“Nice Alice, is that how you greet people and who the fuck made you the fashion police?” Shane grumbled.
“Are we going to talk about last night, grouch?” Alice asked motioning to a table. Shane shuffled over and sat down, leaning back far into the chair.
“How’s Tasha?” Shane changed the subject.
Alice put her purse on the table. “She’s out playing basketball with some of her old friends and don’t think I don’t know that you are deflecting from the topic of Jenny and that whole shindig last night.”
“How’s Clea?” Shane said with a twinkle in her eye.
Alice leaned forward and spoke quietly. “ She called me this morning, but I didn’t answer. I haven’t decided what I’m going to do. I do know I’m not going to cheat on Tasha, I just don’t know if we are going to work or not.”
“Yeah well, you might want to figure that out before you move into a new place with her.” Shane tugged her bottom lip.
Alice started to say something, but then stopped when Bette came toward the table. “We’ll talk about that later…your hair looks better.”
“Fuck you Alice.” Bette said sitting down.
Kit brought over their orders and sat down. She reached over and picked a strawberry from Bette’s plate. Her sister slapped her hand and picked up the fork to spear fruit delicately.
“So I think we should just talk about the Jenny thing.” Alice blurted. Bette stared at Alice, while Kit started choking on her food.
Shane rolled her eyes. “You know I’ve talked about it enough for one day. I don’t think I want to go over it anymore.”
She looked from one woman to the next, as they remained silent, obviously waiting for her to talk about everything. She sighed. “Fine, but Alice this doesn’t go past here and I don’t want to hear any judgments‘. I already know how fucked up I am. I don’t need to hear that you think that I am too.”
Chapter 4: Scandalous by Shades_of_pure
This chapter is really chatty (lots of dialogue). I'm sorry if this is such a slow start, things will be changing up real soon so bare with me please! Thanks you guys for the support!
Jenny looked up from what she was doing, when she heard a light knock on her door.
“Jen?” Max’s voice came from the other side.
“Come in.” Jenny answered softly.
Max opened the door to see the small woman throwing clothing onto the floor. Max looked around the room, noticing that all of the drawers in her dresser were open with clothes hanging over the sides here and there.
“What’s going on?” Max asked.
Jenny turned back to her closet and began flipping through hangers. “I’m just going through my things. I thought it was time to get rid of some of my clothes.”
“Oh, cleaning house?” Max looked concerned.
“No, dwindling down some of my belongings, so when I look for another place to live, it will be easier for me to pack.” Jenny said distantly.
Max sat on Jenny’s bed. “What do you mean? Come on this can be worked out.”
“Max!” Jenny’s voice raised. “If you can tell me how this will be worked out, I’m all ears.”
Max sighed and stared at the cream colored walls.
“You’re friendship with Shane can…”
“never be the same.” Jenny finished for Max. “It kills me to even say that. But things are very different now. I can’t stay here anymore. I can afford to find a different place. Shane can’t.”
“She fucked up Jen. She made a mistake. I don’t condone it in any way, shape or form. But I do know your friendship deserves to be saved.” Max said.
“I don’t think..”
“You guys will talk things out and..”
Jenny threw a dress on the bed. “ I love her, Max.”
“See and that is why this is just a bump in the road. She loves you, too.” Max said not realizing the way she was meaning this.
Jenny shook her head. “No, not like that.”
Max stopped talking and glimpsed up at Jenny.
“I’m in love with her.”
Shane’s green eyes shifted from Bette to Alice to Kit. All silently staring at her. Alice with her mouth open, Bette just looked sad and Kit gave her the all to well known look of utter bewilderment. Shane sighed and picked up her little espresso cup, pulling the hot liquid into her throat.
“I’m surrounded by some scandalous ho’s.” Kit said suddenly. All of the women looked at her. “Except for maybe Alice.”
Shane stared down Alice, raising an eyebrow.
“Okay maybe I’m a little scandalous, but I haven’t hit Shane and Bette’s level of ho’ism.” Alice said defensively.
“What do you mean?” Bette asked, pushing her plate forward.
“It’s nothing, I’m not going to cheat on Tasha.” Alice answered.
“You were thinking about it?” Bette sounded surprised.
“No, no..” Shane cocked her head to the side at her. “ Ok maybe.”
Kit gasped. “Girl, I would be scared to cheat on Tasha.”
Shane raised her cup in agreement with Kit.
“What is so wrong with y’all’s relationships that you have to go tramping around?” Kit asked and got up taking with her Shane’s empty cup and Bette’s plate, while all the women seemed to be contemplating the question.
“I don’t understand, so first you were with Molly and that seemed to be going ok. Now all of a sudden you are with Niki?” Alice asked.
“She’s not with Niki.” Bette answered for Shane and quickly looked at her friend. “You’re not with her are you?”
“See!” Bette sounded relieved.
“But why?” Alice started.
“Did I fuck up my friendship with Jenny? I don’t know.” Shane raised her voice. “Maybe I wanted to forget about Molly or maybe I was doing what YOU expect good ‘ol Shane to do.”
Bette scrunched her eyebrows together.” What are you talking about?”
Shane took a deep breath. “I’m the one woman no sane mother would want their daughter with, right?”
Alice looked confused and then Shane turned her gaze in her direction. “I’m also the type of freak who would leave my fiancÚ at the alter. Isn’t that what you both told Phyllis?”
Bette looked down and closed her eyes. Alice glanced guiltily at Bette. Kit sauntered from behind the counter holding another cup of coffee and a plate with a scone on it. As she walked, she noticed all of the tense body language at the table. She pasted on her best neutral smile.
Kit got to the table, just as Shane blurted. “Is that what you really think of me?”
Bette reached out across the table, trying to touch one Shane’s hands. Shane allowed her to but kept her hand limp.
“Of course not.’ Bette said strongly. “I’m sorry Shane, I didn’t mean what I said to her.”
“Well, you don’t have the greatest track record with women. “Alice stated.
Kit set the plate and cup down in front of Shane. “Alice!”
Alice quickly lifted her hands up justifiably. “I’m not going lie to you. You’re my friend and I love you, Shane, but you have a shitty way of handling your girlfriends.”
Bette shook her head, as Kit sat down.
“You’re right.” Shane mumbled, Kit rubbed her arm.
“Baby what you need to do is switch off whatever lever you have in your head that blinks you are not worth being happy.” Kit said. “Because you are. It doesn’t matter what fucking Phyllis says.”
“She was just protecting Molly.” Shane fiddled with the scone. “It matters what Jenny thinks of me. Of course I care about what you all think of me, but right now Jenny means the most.”
Alice sighed and sat forward. “Shane, she said something last night that I think you should hear.”
Bette and Kit looked at Alice.
“Alice, she isn’t in love with me.” Shane rolled her eyes and gave a little chuckle to Bette and Kit. Her smile faded when she saw the serious look on their faces.
“Her speech was a little strange.” Kit said thoughtfully.
Max and Jenny sat silently on the bed. Both not knowing what to say next. Max stared at his hands, trying to comprehend what Jenny had told him.
“Does she know?” Max finally said.
“I was going to tell her after I talked to Niki, but when I saw them…I couldn’t.”
Max nodded. “When did you realize this?”
“I knew the day she stood behind me during the day I got fired.” Jenny spoke quietly.
“Not before that?” Max asked.
“No, why?” Jenny turned around on the bed pulling her feet up onto the mattress. Her bright eyes stared at Max.
“One time I thought that you two might be in love, but I didn’t know. It’s the way you look at each other .” Max smiled softly to himself. “I thought that the day we got here from our road trip. When you ran to each other…”
Jenny looked off remembering how she had jumped into Shane’s arms. How the small woman had wrapped herself around Shane. The hairdresser had held just as tightly to Jenny.
“…it was like Carmen and I weren’t there.” Max finished. Jenny’s eyes focused back on Max.
“You weren’t.” Jenny looked at her friend tenderly. “Sorry.”
Max shrugged. “It doesn’t matter now.”
“You never said anything.” Jenny wrapped her arms around her knees.
Max pushed up his sleeves. “There was no need to start anything then.”
Jenny groaned and got up, returning to flipping through her clothing. “And there is no need to start anything now.”
Max stared at Jenny’s back for a minute. “You guys are gonna get past this and then you will need to tell her.”
Jenny didn’t answer as Max stood up and walked to the door. He opened the door. “I know you’re hurting and that you are angry, but how you feel about Shane will not go away.”
Max closed the door as Jenny pretended to organize her clothing. When she heard the door close, she stopped and brushed her long bangs out of her eyes. She saw the see through dress that Shane was so desperate for her to wear, when she was going through sex withdrawals. Jenny pulled it out and held it up. She took the dress off of the hanger and started to throw it away, but thought better and put it back on the hanger.
“That doesn’t mean anything!” Shane mumbled.
“Why would she say “I’m madly in love with SOMEONE?” and not that she is madly in love with Niki?” Alice asked.
“Why would you analyze it?” Shane inquired.
Alice rolled her eyes.
“Because she wouldn’t be Alice if she didn’t.” Bette said.
“I’m just saying Jenny’s reaction to Shane slipping the tongue to her ex girlfriend was…”
“normal for someone who felt betrayed.” Bette interjected.
“The comment about slipping the tongue was totally unnecessary.” Shane sniped.
“Fine, you just need to be aware, there might be some thing else going on.” Alice crossed her arms defeated.
“Thanks for the heads up.” Shane muttered before taking a drink of her coffee.
Bette glanced at Shane, who looked back. She wanted to tell Shane that she also thought Jenny may have developed more feelings for her, but she didn’t have anything to prove it. Yet.
“So what can you do to make things up to Jenny? I mean you guys are going to have to talk about this, you’re roommates.” Kit said, looking over at the counter making sure that customers were being helped.
“Not for much longer.” Shane said softly.
Kit looked back at Shane. “What?”
Just as Shane was about to explain, Helena walked to their table.
“Ladies.” she smiled to them all and pulled up a chair. “How is everyone?”
Bette groaned. “Don’t ask.”
Chapter 5: Stronger Than This by Shades_of_pure
No copyright infringement intended. All L Word characters are owned by their creators.
Things seemed to be moving in slow motion around Shane. She watched her friends move their mouths, but she was blocking out most of what they were saying. Which didn’t bother Shane in the least bit, since she still felt betrayed by Alice and Bette.
Hearing Alice babble on about whether or not she was going to get enough votes to be a co host on The Look; seemed like torture. Pretending to show some type of pity when Bette whined about how Jodi’s piece had humiliated and possibly ruined her career, was… well Shane just wanted to reach out and slap the shit out of her and yell, “ Who gives a fuck about Jodi’s piece, you deserved it! Didn’t you fuck HER over, didn’t YOU humilate HER?”
Shane snickered a little to herself, thinking of how Jenny would think that, that visualization of slapping Bette would be funny, too.
The thought made the smirk slowly disappear from Shane’s lips. She realized that she could point those same questions at herself. So instead of going ballistic, she threw in a nod here and there as Alice, Bette, Helena and Kit continued to talk. Nothing seemed to matter anymore.
She looked around the table at each woman. She’d always felt like the outsider within their group before Jenny came to L.A. Then they had met and later became friends. It was like Shane had someone who just got her, finally. She knew all of her friends were special, but with Jenny it was different. It was deeper.
Shane could feel herself getting panicked. There were three other times when she felt this empty; her mom abandoning her when she was little, when Dana died and when Shay left with her dad.
It was the sentence “does Jenny know about the ending of the movie being changed?” that snapped Shane back to reality.
“I don’t think..”
Shane put up a hand to stop Bette from answering and said loudly. “ Wait a minute. What?”
Jenny stood at the kitchen sink, she’d been frustrated because she had tried to sit down and write something again. Instead of actually writing, she ended up going on Craig’s List and looking up apartment listings. It almost seemed as if the one thing that had always brought her solace, was no longer comforting to her. She sighed and opened the fridge pulling out the vanilla soy milk, pouring herself a glass. She turned to put the milk away and her elbow knocked the glass onto the floor. She jumped when she heard the crash, staring at the white liquid and shimmering shards of glass spread on the floor.
“Fuck.” Jenny mumbled and bent down to start picking up the pieces of glass. She grabbed them quickly, feeling angry and then jerked when she felt a sharp pain. Jenny gasped and looked at the palm of her hand, a small cut began to weep blood. Jenny didn’t move, she just stared at the cut. It suddenly didn’t hurt anymore. The small woman sat down slowly onto the floor, ignoring the cold wetness of the milk drenching her jeans.
She was mesmerized by the deep wine color of her blood. She felt numb.
It would be so easy just to…
“No.” Jenny said mentally and verbally.
She shook her head as if to clear the thought from her head.
I’m stronger than this.
She said that over and over to herself. She gazed at the cut and a tear fell when she felt the twinge of pain from it. She felt it.
I don’t need to do it. I’m stronger.
Jenny let out the breath she had no idea she was holding, and allowed herself to feel the coldness of her milk soaked pants. She remembered the trick one of her doctors had taught her about staying in the now. She focused on her surroundings and was soon able to push herself up from the floor and carefully begin to clean up the mess, wincing, thankfully, at the aching pain from her hand.
“Can we stop them from doing that?” Shane asked.
Bette shrugged. “I don’t know, Tina is at home trying to see if there are any other options.”
“I can see if there is anything I can do, Shane. Unfortunately, this type of thing happens all the time in the movie industry.” Helena said softly.
“This is going to destroy Jenny.” Alice said crossing her arms.
“No.” Shane said simply. “I will not let it.”
“Shane..” Bette started.
“I said I will not let that happen.” Shane stood up and quickly left, leaving the others staring after her.
As she strode to her jeep, Shane pulled out her phone and dialed a number. She slipped behind the wheel and waited for the other person to answer. “It’s Shane. We need to talk…no…today. Now.”
Shane walked into the busy salon and looked around, finally spotting the woman sitting at the nail bench. The dark haired woman was talking to the nail technician flippantly. Shane took a few steps in her direction, before being stopped by the receptionist.
“Can I help you?” the short blonde asked.
Shane glanced at her for a minute, then returned her eyes to the other woman. “No, I’m here to speak to her.” Shane pushed her chin in the direction of the nail station.
The blonde kept her smile polite. “I’m sorry, but she’s not to be disturbed.”
Shane opened her mouth to protest, but then the familiar voice called out. “It’s okay, Kristi, I was expecting her.”
Shane passed Kristi. The woman turned in her seat, holding up two different shades of red finger nail polish in her hand.
“Which shade do you think I should go for, Shane? Vamp red or Malaga Wine?” She asked not looking up.
Jenny finished cleaning up the mess and hopped in the shower, rinsing away the sick sweet smell of the milk. She wrapped a towel around her and padded out to her computer again.
“Alright, let’s try this again.” Jenny said to herself and stared at the blank screen.
Jenny closed her eyes trying to envision words or something…anything. All she saw was a big brick wall.
She clasped her small hands over her face and gave a little frustrated squeal and stomped her feet.
Jenny got up and decided she couldn’t stay cooped up in the house any longer. She needed to get out and try to keep her mind off all of the recent drama. Where the fuck could she go, that wouldn’t remind her? The Planet was out, of course. No way was she going there, yet.
She saw some movement from the window of Bette’s dining room and walked over to peek out her own window. Jenny saw Tina shuffling through papers and then resting her chin on her hand, reading. Tina looked stressed, her blonde hair pulled into a pony tail with pieces falling out all over. Jenny smiled softly, realizing she knew where to go.
“Hearing from you was surprising to say the least.” Adele gazed up at Shane, her almond shaped eyes hid slightly by her bangs. She looked away and handed one of the polishes over to the nail technician. Dear lord, it really was creepy how much she looked like Jenny, but Adele couldn’t hold a candle to Jenny’s beauty, in Shane’s opinion.
“You can’t let them change the ending to Jenny’s movie. You know how important it is to her.” Shane stood strong in her stance.
Adele rolled her eyes. “Oh, is that why you HAD to see me? Shane, if it had been so important to her, she wouldn’t have fucked around with the project, as much as she did. We want Lez Girls to be sponsored and to be seen by a diverse audience. If changing the ending will make that happen, then I’m willing to make that sacrifice.”
Shane took off her sunglasses and placed them onto the table. “It’s not YOUR sacrifice to make, Adele. I thought you wanted this movie to be true to the way Jenny wrote it to be.”
Shane tried to keep her composure, but she was two seconds away from “going street on this bitch” as Kit would say.
“It is mine to make. This movie is mine now. The story is still the same, just with a little tweek.” Adele held up a hand to look at her nails.
“That’s bullshit!” Shane spat out.
“That’s Hollywood.” Adele said just as quickly. “Either way there is nothing you can do about it.”
“I’ll find a way to get the ending she deserves.”
Adele laughed letting her head fall back. “What is an unemployed hairdresser, who knows nothing about this industry, going to do?”
Shane thought for a moment, then smiled slightly. She bent down, her face inches from Adele’s, making sure that she was looking into her eyes. “ I might not know anything about this movie shit, but I have friends who do.”
Adele stared back into Shane’s determined eyes. Shane moved her hand quickly to grab her sunglasses, causing Adele to jerk slightly. “Don’t fuck with me.”
Shane smiled politely, pushing her sunglasses back on, her husky voice pouring out like liquid. “I hope the rest of your manicure is relaxing.”
Thanks to DD for going over this chapter with me and giving me a slight kick in the ass to write another chapter, even if you didn't know you did.
Chapter 6: Will This Day Ever End? by Shades_of_pure
Jenny reaches out to Tina, while Shane realizes she may have started something a little out of her league.
Shane left the salon making sure that she walked with her usual confidence. She got to her jeep and started wondering how she was going to do this.
It all sounded great when I said it, she thought as she drove away. Now she would have to make good on what she had told Adele. Shane knew she would have to seriously think this through, whatever it was she was going to do.
She’d call Tina.
Tina was looking through the production contract of Lez Girls when she heard a light knock on the door. She peeked in on Angelica to make sure she hadn’t woken up and then answered the door.
Jenny stood in front of her, the pea coat that she wore hung off of her small frame. Tina wondered why she was wearing this coat when it was hot out, but she decided to let that go.
“Jenny.” Tina looked confused. “How are you?”
Jenny smiled softly, but her eyes were sad. “I hope I’m not bothering you, I just needed to get the hell out of that house.”
Tina felt her maternal instincts made her want to reach out and take care of Jenny. But she knew that wasn’t possible, so she settled with welcoming Jenny into the house as warmly as possible. “Of course, come on in.”
Jenny stepped in and looked around the house, turning around to Tina’s voice.
“Do you want coffee or tea, anything?” Tina asked walking to the kitchen.
“Tea would be good.” Jenny said looking at the pictures of Angelica.
Tina pulled out a teapot and started to fill it with water when her cell phone rang. Tina looked down at the small screen and saw Shane’s name blinking.
“Shane?” Tina answered quietly.
Shane yelled. “Tina are you home? Can I come talk to you?”
Tina turned around, looking at Jenny who had taken the coat off and was settling into a chair. Tina backed herself into a corner of the kitchen. “I’m at Bette’s and now is not the best time for a visit.”
Shane swerved through traffic, causing horns to honk furiously. “Why not? I really need to talk to you.”
Tina placed the tea kettle on the stove and whispered. “Jenny’s here and well, you know...”
Shane rolled her eyes, so much for keeping the information at the Planet with Bette, Kit and Alice.
“Which one called you?”
“Was it Bette or Alice who told you about Niki?” Shane decided it was better to pull over for a moment.
“Bette, she texted me.” Tina said.
“Great.” Shane sighed waiting for a lecture from Tina.
“I’m in no position to judge you Shane. Look at what we did to Jodi.”
“Yeah, I guess. Listen, have you told Jenny about the ending of the movie, yet?” Shane asked.
“No I was going to wait for a little bit, with everything else that’s been going on,” Tina said and
looked in on Jenny again.
“If she asks, don’t keep it from her. Be honest,“ Shane lowered her voice. “I don’t want her to feel anymore betrayed than she does already.”
Tina could hear that Shane was concerned. “Hold on.” Tina stepped out of the kitchen. “Jenny I’ll be right back, I have to take this call. I’m so sorry.”
Jenny smiled. “It’s ok, Tina, I understand. Do you want me to come back later?”
“No!” Tina said sincerely. “This shouldn’t take long.”
“Okay,” Jenny said in her soft voice.
Tina turned and walked to the back patio. “Was that what you wanted to talk to me about?”
“That and …” Shane bit her lip.
Tina was looking at the flowers in the garden, waiting for Shane to talk. “Shane are you still there?”
“I went to see Adele,” Shane said quickly.
Tina dropped the phone. “Shit!”
Shane winced and pulled the phone away from her ear.
“You did WHAT?” Tina yelled.
“I found her and talked to her,” Shane said again.
“What did you exactly say, huh?” Tina was closing her eyes tightly.
Shane gave a quick run down of the conversation with Adele and she envisioned Tina slapping her head with her hand or strangling the phone as she talked.
“You told her you knew people who could help you?” Tina really did slap her forehead. “Do you realize she is going to assume that you meant me, which could jeopardize my say in what happens with the ending?”
Shane chewed on her lip again. “Uhm, yeah …well, that kind of crossed my mind afterwards.”
“Of course it did! Did you say anything else?” Tina didn’t know if she really wanted the answer to that.
“Heh, heh, I kind of told her not to fuck with me?” Shane said carefully.
“You said that?” Tina gasped and then wondered if she was going to need to put her head between her knees because she was seeing black dots in front of her eyes. “I’m going to have to kill you.”
“Hey! I wanted to help!”
Tina sighed and sat down. “I know, but you should have called me first.”
Shane played with the leather on her steering wheel. “I’m sorry, but I’m going to make sure she gets the ending she wanted.”
“Alright, but how are you going to do that?”
“I don’t know yet.”
Tina closed her phone and then looked at it for a minute before going back into the house. As she walked in Jenny was pouring steaming water over tea bags and she handed her a cup.
“The water was done so I thought I’d get the tea.”
“Sorry I took so long.” Tina said, smiling half-heartedly.
“No worries.” Jenny turned and went into the living room with Tina following closely behind her. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah,” Tina replied. “ Just a little issue at work.”
Jenny nodded and looked down into her cup. “It means a lot to me that you’re still involved in the movie. I know that it will turn out fine with you there.”
Tina took a sip of her tea and almost choked when Jenny said this. The blonde set down her cup.
“Jenny I need to tell you something. Before I get into it. I want you to know, that I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure Lez Girls turns out the way you wanted it to.”
Jenny smiled. “ I know Tina.”
“But…I was told last night that the new sponsor wants…” Tina looked into Jenny’s eyes. “They want to change the ending.”
“Change it how?” Jenny asked, her face looking disturbingly unresponsive.
“They want to end it with Jessie going back to Jim.” Tina sighed and she watched as Jenny’s expressions went through several emotions; astonishment, anger and then sadness. “It’s total bullshit and I’m going to fight for your ending,” She continued when Jenny remained silent. “Please trust me when I say that, Jenny.”
Jenny took another sip of the tea and then rolled the cup between her hands.“ They can do that? Just change the script without my permission?”
Tina looked unhappily at Jenny. “I’m afraid so.”
Shane eventually pulled up to the house and stared at her steering wheel for a long time.
What did I start?
She pulled the strap of her camera bag over her shoulder and slid out of her jeep, walking slowly to the shed. She was going to need help with this.
Maybe Helena would buy out the studio. Shane would never ask her to do that, Helena had already done so much for her friends. Shane stood in front of the closed door of the shed. Shane heard a voice come from Bette’s backyard and she crouched and peeked through the cracks of the fence. She saw Tina picking something from her garden and then saying something to Jenny who was standing next to her. Jenny lowered her head and nodded slowly. Tina’s phone rang and she excused herself and walked into the house while Jenny looked at the flowers and then sat down, putting her feet into the pool. Shane was absentmindedly pulling her camera from her bag.
The small woman kicked her legs in the pool slowly. Staring down into the blue water, she lifted one of her hands from her lap and ran her fingers over the palm of the other. Shane cocked her head to the side and stood slightly, focusing the lens on Jenny’s hands. The picture turned from blurry to crystal clear. Shane snapped a picture and realized that there was a bandage on Jenny’s hand. She snapped another picture of Jenny and then moved so she would stay hidden. Jenny reached up and brushed her cheek.
Shane hadn’t realized she was moving closer to the fence, her feet shuffling pebbles. Jenny suddenly looked up and squinted her eyes. Shane didn’t try to hide anymore, she just stood still.
Jenny leaned forward and realized she was looking at Shane. They stared at each other for a few moments. Tina came out and sighed.
“Sorry about that Jenny,” Tina said sitting next to Jenny. Jenny smiled delicately and looked at the spot where Shane had been standing only to catch the back of her head as she walked away.
Shane walked into the shed and was greeted by Sounder II. Shane smiled and bent over to pat the small dog's head and looked up at Max, who was searching through some drawers.
“Hey sorry, I came out here to get my disks,” Max said opening another one of his drawers.
“It’s your studio Max. You don’t have to apologize.”
Max pulled out a few disks. “Yeah but it’s yours for now, so I didn’t want to intrude.”
Shane flopped herself onto the bed, laying on her back. Sounder yipped and jumped on the bed next to Shane, nuzzling her arm. “You aren’t.”
Max gathered some clothing, throwing them into a bag.
“God, will this day ever end?” Shane moaned.
Max snickered and made his way to the door. He glanced back at Shane, who was still splayed on the bed. “Shane?”
“I think I need to tell you something.”
Shane covered her face with her hands. “If it’s something that’s going to cause more drama, for the love of all things that are good…don’t tell me now. I don’t think I can take anymore today.”
“That makes sense. I’ll see you later. Come on Sounder,” Max said. Shane heard the patter of Sounder's claws on the floor and the door close.
Shane groaned again and grabbed her pillow, burying her face in it and hoping she could sleep the rest of the day away.
Shane cracked one of her eyes open and peeked out. It was dark in the studio and outside. She reached for her phone to look at the time. It was 1:43 am. She rubbed her eyes and blinked. What seemed like the outline of someone sitting by the workout bench caught her eye.
“I swear, if there are any ex girlfriends in here waiting to hit me in the head with something, get it over with,” Shane said, and when there was no movement from the bench, she ran like a scared little girl to flip on the light. She caught her breath, thankful that it was just a coat hanging off of the barbell bar.
“Jesus.” Shane shivered and grabbed her cigarettes. She looked down at her underwear and tank top, not remembering when she took her clothing off. She shrugged and walked out of the studio.
Jenny heard the door open to the studio and then saw Shane step out. She leaned against the doorframe and lit a cigarette. Jenny’s eyes gazed over Shane’s form; her carefree ways were something that Jenny had always admired about Shane. The tall woman seemed to stand with less confidence than usual and her shoulders were slouched slightly.
Shane sighed before pulling another drag from her cigarette.
“Can I have one?” a voice called to Shane, causing her to gasp and then cough.
“Fuck!” Shane croaked and turned to look at Jenny who was sitting on the stairs of their porch.
Jenny didn’t smile, she just stared at her. “Can I have a cigarette?”
Coughing once more, Shane walked over to Jenny and shook a cigarette out for her. She stood staring as Jenny took it and placed it to her lips and Shane shifted nervously.
Jenny moved her bangs out of her eyes. “I kind of need a light, too.”
“Oh right!” Shane went to light it for her, but Jenny just took the lighter from her hand instead.
Shane cleared her throat. “I thought you were quitting.”
“There’s too much shit going on to give up this vice,” Jenny said, exhaling the smoke and she noticed that Shane was looking anywhere but at her. “Couldn’t sleep?”
“I just woke up. I was trying to sleep the rest of the day away,” Shane said tiredly.
“Did sleeping make things better?” Jenny asked.
Shane stopped fidgeting and looked at Jenny. “No, everything is still where it was.”
“Damn I was hoping that it worked, so I could try it for myself.”
This brought a slight smile to Shane’s lips. Jenny smiled too and then looked at Shane. She could see the hopeful look in the green eyes. The smile faded from Jenny’s mouth slowly and Shane could feel her heart sinking.
“What happened to your hand?” Shane broke the silence, pointing at Jenny’s bandage.
“I cut it when I was picking up a broken glass.” Jenny sighed. “Don’t worry, I didn’t fall off the wagon.”
The last words came out short, causing Shane to flinch. “I didn’t mean it like you’d done…”
Jenny stood up and flicked her cigarette onto the driveway. She suddenly realized how close they were standing to each other. Shane didn’t back away and Jenny stared into her eyes. Jenny saw her eyebrows scrunch together in confusion and she stepped back, turning to go into the house. “Goodnight.”
Shane reached out and grabbed her arm. The touch felt like fire on Jenny’s skin, she took a deep breath and steadied herself.
Shane was talking fast. “Hey, I want you to know, I’m going to do whatever it takes to get us back to where we were. I’m not going to stop until I prove to you that…”
Jenny looked down at Shane’s hand on her arm and then back at her former best friend. “Shane.”
Shane stopped talking and Jenny continued. “I don’t know if we will ever be like we were. Things have changed and…”
“But I’ll fix it, I promise.”
“Don’t. I don’t know that I can be close to you the way we were. Do you understand?” Jenny’s eyes were bright, still conscious of Shane’s hand on her arm.
Shane nodded, keeping her eyes on the smaller woman.
“Do you understand?” Jenny said again and then saw a flicker of realization on Shane’s face. “It’s different now.”
Jenny felt Shane’s hand pulling her a little closer, but Jenny gently placed her hand on hers and pulled it off of her arm and walked into the house.
Thanks to DD for her brilliant suggestions and editting (sp?), see I need her to edit my end notes too! All L Word characters belong to their creators, no copyright infringement intended.
Chapter 7: What Will You Do for Me? by Shades_of_pure
Shane seeks out someone from her past for help.
I know it's been awhile since I posted a chapter for this fic, but here goes.
All characters from the L Word belong to the creators. No copyright infringment intended.
Tina flipped her cell phone closed as she rushed into the Planet. She looked around, her eyes settling on Shane sitting at a table alone, her feet propped up on a chair, half dozing. Tina smiled slightly, it was almost sad to see Shane sitting there by herself. She had seen her do it many other times, but for some reason, she really seemed completely alone. She walked over to the table and touched Shane’s sneaker, shaking it gently.
“Sorry I’m late,” Tina said, sitting down.
Shane moved her feet off of the chair and pushed it toward Tina. “It’s cool, thanks for meeting me.”
Tina smiled comforting to Shane. “Of course, they start shooting the new ending this week. However, Adele has banned me from the set again. It’s fucking ridiculous.”
Shane sat forward. “So I’m guessing they didn’t listen to your protests?”
Tina shook her head and looked over her shoulder to wave at Helena who was behind the counter. “No. William would not listen to me. There isn’t anything I can do now.”
“You tried; you can only do what you can.”
Tina nodded, a piece of blonde hair falling into one of her eyes. “Is Jenny still not talking to you?”
Shane chuckled to herself, thinking of how Jenny almost always found anywhere else to be when she entered the house. Not that it was funny, it hurt. Shane missed coming into the house to see Jenny writing furiously at her laptop and she would still find the time to stop say a friendly hello and ask how Shane was. But not anymore, now Jenny wouldn‘t even look up from the laptop or she would close it and leave the room. “Apart from the occasional how long are you going to be in the shower, she hasn’t said much to me.”
“How long has it been?” Tina asked sincerely.
Shane thought of the night that Jenny and she had talked out on the porch. It seemed like decades since then. That night Shane had declared to herself that she was going to fight for Jenny. She was going to prove to Jenny that she would never hurt her again, that she would do anything for her. “Nine days, but who’s counting. She still insists on finding another place to live. Max has tried to talk her out of it, but she won‘t budge. I’d leave myself, but I‘m not going to leave her. Even if I’m banished to the studio forever and she won’t speak to me, I’m still going to be there.”
Helena walked over with a pot of tea and set it down in front of Tina. Tina looked up at her and smiled. “Thank you. She’ll get over this, Shane; it’s just going to take some time.”
“Exactly, you just have to hang in there and she will come around,” Helena interjected. “She loves you and she’s just hurt. You may want to think about what to do if she does actually move out.”
Shane winced at the thought. Jenny still living in the house and not speaking to her was one thing, but Shane didn’t think she could handle Jenny not being there at all. “I may be getting that settlement from the fire at WAX soon. I could pay up the rent for awhile and work on getting Jenny to move back in. That’s only if she leaves.”
Shane thought for a moment, picking up her espresso cup. “What if we talked to Joyce? Maybe she could find some kind of legal loop hole that has to do with the movie.”
Tina sighed. “I don’t know that I can get involved with that, if Adele caught wind that I was speaking to a lawyer, I could lose my job.”
Shane nodded, she didn‘t want that to happen. “You’re right. I shouldn’t get you involved anymore. What if we could find another project that Jenny could get attached to?”
“Yeah, but without an agent, it could be hard to get her another job.” Helena said.
“She may feel burned by the film industry, Shane. She might not want to have anything to do with it again. Lez Girls was her baby,” Tina added.
Shane stared off, going through a mental list of people she knew that could maybe help her. Cherie? Fuck that, there was no way she was going to ask her for anything. Joyce was out. Then a face popped into her head, but Shane didn’t have her phone number anymore and she didn’t think the woman would even speak to her. There was no hurt in trying, this was for Jenny. “I think I know someone I can talk to.”
Helena and Tina looked at each other. “Who?”
Shane held up a finger to tell them to wait. She punched in Max’s number and waited while it rang. “Max? You can basically find anyone on your computer right? I just need a phone number, a personal phone number; I don’t want to talk to her assistant.”
Tina started feeling nervous. “Shane who are you talking about?”
Shane looked at Tina and said into the phone. “Veronica Bloom.”
“Veronica Bloom? Jesus, she is a bull dog! Don’t get her involved Shane,” Tina started looking like she was going to hyperventilate.
“Veronica Bloom, isn’t she some studio head at Paramount?” Helena asked.
“Thanks Max, just call me if you find anything, “Shane sighed, closing her phone and touched Tina’s hand. “Calm down, Tina. I’m just going to ask her what we can do, just see if she has any ideas that we may have missed.”
Shane squinted up at the building of Paramount. She started asking herself what the hell she was doing as she walked through the doors and stepped into the elevator. As the elevator approached the floor that Veronica’s office was on, Shane felt her stomach lurch for a moment. She told herself that it was just from the motion of the elevator, not her nerves. It was as she walked toward the door and heard the familiar screaming, that she calmed down. Shane reached for the doorknob and heard a whole lot of “fuck this and fuck that.” She rolled her eyes and shook her head before pushing through the door.
“All I fucking asked for was that god damn David Lynch revised script on my desk 15 minutes ago. Where is it?” Shane couldn’t see where the yelling was coming from simply because there were about three people standing in front of the desk. Two of them were talking on their cell phones. Shane looked to the right of her and saw a very scared, very young man standing in the corner.
Aaron, Veronica’s assistant pushed something by his pocket and spoke into a headset. “Where is the David Lynch script?”
“Who do I have to fuck to get things done around here? Do I have to do it myself? Where is my caramel macchiato?” Shane could see the top of Veronica’s head pacing back and forth behind her desk.
Aaron’s voice caught Shane’s attention, as he spoke into the headset again. “I need that macchiato stat and if someone doesn’t find that script I’m going to kill them.”
“You!” The small lake of assistants parted and Veronica stepped from behind her desk and pointed to the young man in the corner. “Who the hell are you?”
The man’s eyes shot wide open. “Ma’am, I’m Ron…”
Veronica put a hand on her hip and gave Aaron a quick look. “I can’t breathe in here; you people are taking up all oxygen in the room!”
Aaron yelled into the headset. “Get me an oxygen tank pronto. Veronica that is Ron, the new intern you agreed to take on.”
“I don‘t need an oxygen tank.” Veronica put her hand to her forehead as if she was thinking.
“Cancel the oxygen tank.”
“I don’t give a flying fuck, get out of here and get my caramel macchiato! NOW INTERN!” Veronica clapped her hands together. “Hustle!”
“Yes, Ma’am,” Ron jumped to run out of the room and fell down hard. He let out a scream that sounded more like a little girl.
Veronica threw her arms up in the air and rolled her eyes. “Oh for Christ sakes, be a man, rub some dirt in it and get moving.”
Shane bent down and offered Ron her hand. “Are you alright?”
Ron nodded, getting up from the floor and then ran out the door.
“I have bigger balls than that boy! Fire the little shrimp,” Veronica said over her shoulder to Aaron.
Aaron spoke quickly into his headset. “Fire the intern.”
Shane was beginning to wonder just who the hell Aaron was sending all the demands to over the headset.
Veronica crossed her arms over her chest and stared at Shane as if she had just realized that Shane was in her office. “Well, well, Shane fucking McCutcheon.”
Shane smiled politely. “Hello Veronica.”
After giving Shane the once over, she walked back to her desk and pulled off her blazer, laying it over the arm of her office chair. “I see you still haven’t learned how to dress.”
Shane shook her head and stepped closer. “And I see you haven’t lost your voice from yelling at your minions.”
“Get out,” Veronica said with an amused smile to her assistants. After they left, Veronica sat in her chair and leaned back. “Your phone call piqued my curiosity. What do you want?”
Shane sighed. “I need your help.”
Veronica raised one her eyebrows. “Really, what makes you think that I would help you?”
Helena sauntered over to the table that Jenny was typing on her laptop at. She placed a gentle hand on Jenny’s back, causing her to pause whatever she was typing and look up. She hadn’t been to the Planet in a while and Helena thought she looked thinner than usual.
“Do you need anything, Jenny? Something to drink or eat,” Helena asked softly.
Jenny shook her head and went back to typing. “No thank you.”
Helena sighed and looked up when she noticed two women walk through the doors. The smile slowly faded as she realized who it was. She quickly looked over at Kit who was behind the counter, wiping it down. Kit peered up from her task and instantly got the “oh hell no” look on her face.
Helena exhaled slowly. “Shit.”
Jenny glanced at Helena for a moment and then followed her stare. Adele was speaking to Kit, while Niki looked carefully over at Jenny’s table. She seemed uncomfortable and nervous, pulling lightly on Adele’s sleeve.
“Adele let’s just go some place else,” Niki whispered to her.
Adele turned and saw Jenny, a smirk formed on her lips. “It’s fine, we are just ordering a few things to go.”
Helena leaned down to speak to Jenny. “Do you want me to kick the bloody slags out?”
Jenny sat motionless for a minute. She could feel her anger starting to boil over. She knew that Adele came here to make her uneasy and it was working for a second. Soon Jenny felt relieved at seeing her look alike, she had held her composure at the wrap party. Jenny had acted with some dignity and class toward Adele then. She didn’t really feel like she wanted to act polite now.
“Huh? Slags? No. No it’s ok.” Jenny said in her soft feminine voice, standing up and walking over to the counter. Helena followed her and went around the counter to stand next to Kit. Helena stared down Adele.
Helena spoke to Kit. “What are they doing here?”
Adele smiled and placed a hand on the counter. “Ordering drinks hopefully. Niki do you want something?”
Niki shook her head no, while Helena laughed slightly. “You are kidding me.”
“Don’t you have assistants or something to get your food?” Kit said simply.
“Believe it or not Kit, not all directors have to have someone fetch coffee for them, “Adele turned and smiled sweetly at Jenny. “Hi Jenny.”
Niki started talking in her awkward nervous way. “Jenny it wasn’t my idea to come here. You look really good. Doesn’t she look good Adele?”
Jenny ignored Niki. “How is the new ending coming?”
Adele raised her eyebrows slightly. “I’m sure you have Tina spying for you, so you tell me.”
Niki ran her hand through her hair nervously. “Adele, stop.”
“Excuse me?” Jenny crossed her arms over her chest. “Tina is not spying for me, I have no clue what’s going on, other than the fact that you are changing the ending.”
“Well you don’t need to worry about the film anymore. I don’t appreciate you sending your hairdresser to threaten me.” Adele said softly.
Jenny cocked her head in confusion. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
Adele laughed to herself. “Oh please like you didn’t know that Shane found me and basically told me not to fuck with her.”
Jenny shook her head. “I have no idea what you are talking about.”
“It was slightly entertaining, Shane trying to swoop in and save poor little Jenny. The funny thing is she knows nothing about the business and possibly cost Tina her job. It‘s all pretty pathetic.” Adele turned her back on Jenny speaking to Niki.
“You are one trifling bitch.” Kit said as Helena set down Adele’s to go cup. Jenny stared at the back of Adele’s head and suddenly envisioned herself jumping on her back, body slamming her to the floor. But she snapped out of that quickly, instead she turned her attention to the clear plastic cup of red liquid that sat on the counter. Helena glanced at Jenny, catching her movements from the corner of her eye. Jenny was mechanically reaching for the cup and picking it up.
Helena said quietly. “Jenny don’t.”
Jenny didn’t listen to her and waited until Adele turned to look at her again. Smiling sweetly, Jenny poured the cold drink over Adele’s head. Helena covered her mouth and Kit just laughed.
Adele gasped as the sticky drink slid down her cheeks, while Niki shrieked. “Oh My God.”
Jenny threw the cup down and dusted her hands off dramatically. “Well I don‘t know about you ladies, but that was slightly entertaining.”
Veronica had kicked back her feet onto her desk and was rocking slightly in the office chair. “Directors get fired all the time and movie scripts get changed all the time. Unfortunately, there isn’t much you can do about it, aside from buying the rights back, but I can guarantee you don’t have that kind of money. Does your friend have any other treatments or scripts written that she is trying to get produced?”
Shane shrugged. “I don’t know. This movie, Lez Girls, was the one that matters to her.”
“Maybe I could get her onto another project. But the word is out that your friend is extremely hard to work with and can’t keep it in her pants when it comes to the actresses. She is going to have a hard time finding an agent and producers who are going to want to work with her. She is a high risk,” Veronica said putting her feet down to reach over and snatch a piece of candy from the candy dish on her desk. “Why is this so fucking important to you?”
The answer came easy to Shane. “She’s my best friend and I want to help her.”
Veronica pushed herself up from the chair and walked around the desk, perching on the ledge. She looked down at Shane and smiled to herself. “So if I pull some strings and get her hired for another project, what will you do for me?”
I knew that was coming, Shane thought to herself. Shane sighed and looked down at her hands. “I could…could be your assistant again?”
“I have more than enough assistants.”
Shane was thankful that Veronica didn‘t go for that offer. “I can do hair for the next two movies you produce, for free.”
The curvy woman looked down and picked a piece of lint from her trousers. “Tempting, but no.”
“I’m not having sex with you.”
Veronica looked disgusted. “Oh fuck, do you really think that you are that hot?”
“Then what?” Shane had run out of ideas and she wasn’t sure that Jenny would even want to work on a movie with Veronica.
“I think I have a better suggestion than getting your friend a job. Do you feel up to encouraging a tough client into selling me the rights to her story?”
Shane groaned. “Oh no, who is it?”
Veronica picked up the candy dish and offered one to Shane. “You.”
Shane waved off the offer of candy slightly annoyed. “What?”
“Oh come on Shane, I’ve kept my eye on you for the past few years. You’ve gone through some interesting things.” Veronica set down the dish and began pacing the room.
Shane‘s eyes followed her as she moved around the room. “That’s just…creepy. My life would not make an interesting movie. Not to mention my life is private, not something I want to share with the world.”
“Think about it you could make enough money to set up your own little production of Lez Girls. You could make the story the way that your friend wanted it to be,” Veronica started getting excited as she spoke.
Shane went silent for a moment. “It’s not the whole movie that needs to be redone, it’s just the ending.”
Veronica turned around and smiled confidently at Shane, she walked to her desk and pulled out a pad of paper, writing numbers on it. “Well, you would have enough money to redo the ending for her and maybe more. Perhaps you could put some money towards her next project. Why don’t you think about it for a little while and get back to me. However, this offer won’t be on the table for long. This is the amount of money I’d be willing to put into your story.”
Shane kept her eyes on Veronica before she decided to look down at the figure on the paper. She gazed back at Veronica stoically; finally Shane got up and walked out making sure to keep her confident and cool composure. As she opened the door, the assistants piled back into the office. One of them was holding a platter with what looked like a script and large beverage glass.
Shane could hear Veronica yelling as she walked down the hall.
“You call this a macchiato?! This is the worst fucking thing I’ve ever tasted.” Shane looked back toward the office door as she waited for the elevator and jumped when she saw a glass come flying out the door and hit the wall. “ALL OF YOU GET OUT!”
Thanks to DD for the suggestion to reintroduce Veronia Bloom.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.