Set at the tail end of 3R1x02, Doctor Miranda Foster is still brooding over the events of the night, but somebody's got a cure for her.
Categories: Three Rivers
, Miranda/Lisa Characters:
drama, medical, romanceSpoilers up through:
3R Season 1Warnings:
October 20, 2009 Updated:
November 10, 2009
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
1. Chapter 1 - Not the End of the World by lilpinkchainsaw
2. Chapter 2 - Harry Potter and the Missing, Bloody Football Star by lilpinkchainsaw
Chapter 1 - Not the End of the World by lilpinkchainsaw
Set at the tail end of 3R1x02, Doctor Miranda Foster is still brooding over the events of the night, but somebody's got a cure for her.
My very first 3R fic! As is the usual with my fics, I can tell this one wants to be a series. Whether it will be or not, I have no idea - since I'm still getting used to Miranda and Lisa as characters - but these two haven't quieted down yet, so there's a good chance there might be more of this one!
“'s a great day, huh?” David asked, pausing to take a sip from his beer before glancing over at Miranda and Andy, a faint, satisfied smile all he would allow himself to show. He never allowed himself to get too high or too low about things. Balance.
“Yeah, great day.” Andy replied, David's words coaxing a smile from him
Miranda, for her part, didn't answer – just continued staring out over the river (Monongahela, she heard Andy's voice echoing in the back of her mind), lost in thought.
The silence stretched out between the three of them as the two waited for her answer to come. Agreement. Assent. Camaraderie of a sort. But it never came.
Finally, David cleared his throat and leaned forward, glancing around Miranda and meeting Andy's eyes for a moment. He then looked past him, nodding towards the door and after a moment, Andy nodded solemnly in agreement.
“I'll leave the rest of these here for you,” Andy said as he straightened up from the railing, pausing to take another small swig from his bottle of beer.
“What? Oh,” Miranda said, startled out of her trance. She glanced down at Andy, at the cooler that sat between them with a couple more beers still inside it. “Are you sure?”
“Yeah, I got an early morning,” he agreed good-naturedly, smiling a bit as he stretched, letting out a low, growly groan of weariness. “Meetings.”
“Yeah, I gotta take off, too,” David said, giving Miranda a brief smile as he backed away from the railing and circled around the two of them, sauntering towards the security door. “Got dinner with Shara from the pediatric wing.”
“Ugh,” Miranda groaned as she returned her attention back to the view, shaking her head to herself. “Bye,” she added dryly.
David just laughed as he left, the door ratcheting shut behind him, leaving just Miranda and Andy alone together. Andy coughed a bit and looked up at her for a moment. “You, uhh... you gonna be okay?”
“Yeah,” Miranda said after a few moments of silence and even then, she sounded distracted. Only half there. “I'll be fine. You go.”
“Well, if you drink the rest of those, find Pam or someone and they'll hook you up with a cot in the old ward. It's kinda dusty, but the beds are pretty comfortable,” Andy suggested with a rueful smile.
Looking at him, at his expression, Miranda knew enough not to ask how he knew that and simply nodded. “Thanks,” she said, returning the smile as she reached out, gave him a firm pat on the shoulder. “Now get the hell outta here and get some sleep.”
Andy chuckled. “Yes, sir,” he said, giving her a playful salute as he turned on his heel and made his way towards the door. “Have a good night.”
“You, too,” Miranda said, already turning her attention back to the river vista spread out before her, silently mesmerized by the way the city lights glimmered and bounced off of the dark water. Red here, blue here, yellow here. If she thought about it, if she looked up at the town itself, she thought she could figure out where each color came from. The red from the stop light at the corner. The blue from a bar just up the street.
She watched the lights dancing on the water, the occasional tugboat or ferry seeming to shove its way through the water rather than gliding along on the surface of it. Taking a sip from her bottle, she barely tasted the brew inside it, distantly noting how her stomach rumbled – hacked off at her for filling it with alcohol rather than actual food, which she knew she needed. She hadn't eaten before they left for Boston and hadn't had a chance to eat since she got back, but she really just needed the stillness for a while.
Miranda didn't hear the security door open, even as noisy as it was, though she wasn't exactly startled as she heard a familiar voice. “Hey, doc. Fancy meeting you up here.” There was openness, friendliness in that voice as well as the tiniest hint of teasing. Tip-toeing out to see how thick the ice was before stepping out any further.
“Hey, doc,” Miranda said, a grin slowly finding its way to her lips as she turned weary eyes to find Doctor Lisa Reed approaching. Lisa was still in her green ER scrubs, though she'd thrown on a cardigan – much like Miranda had bundled up, herself – to stave off the over-friendly chill of the Pitts air. “Did you get lost again? The ER's that way, you know. First floor.” She straightened up from the railing and pointed behind her – her best approximation of where she figured the emergency room could be found – and her grin broadened.
“Haha,” Lisa replied in a perfect deadpan, rolling her eyes a little. She drew the halves of her cardigan tightly closed around her, arms folding over her middle to hold it in place as she moved to join Miranda at the railing. “What are you doing up here? I thought you went home hours ago.”
Miranda slowly shook her head, eyes lowering to study the bottle she held in her hand. “Nah, I – I, um.. I just wanted to come up here and... think for a while, I guess?”
No reply from Lisa, but Miranda could see her nodding out of the corner of her eye as she folded her arms atop the edge of the railing. “Yeah, I... heard about Mr. Hayes,” she said quietly. “I'm sorry, Miranda.”
“He was Andy's patient, too,” she pointed out with a shrug, her expression impassive as she picked at the label on her bottle.
“Yeah, but Andy's fine. Andy's always fine,” Lisa said with a huff of rueful laughter. “He's a regular Bounce-Back Kid... but I'm not talking about Andy. I'm talking about you... and you're not fine.”
“Leese --” Miranda began, already drawing herself up, readying herself to give her more of the same that she'd given to the guys, but Lisa was having none of it.
“Mir,” Lisa immediately shot back, her tone maddeningly patient, turning her green eyes to study Miranda's profile, reaching up to brush the pale blond fringe of her bangs out of her eyes so that she could see her without impediment. As nice as the view was, there were few lights on the roof so she had to practically squint to see Miranda's face, though thankfully the lights reflected by the river below certainly helped. “Please?”
With a sigh, Miranda tipped her head back, took a sip of her beer, eyes leveled on where she figured the banks of the Monongahela were roughly meant to be. “I don't know,” she said at last, taking another, longer drink, of her beer.
“Got any more of those?” Lisa asked, a soft, lightly hopeful lift to her words. “Maaaaybe one that I could have?” Miranda could hear the tiny, angelic smile in Lisa's voice and chuckled.
“Yeah,” she said, nodding as she hopped down off the railing and bent to open the cooler. She retrieved a beer, popped the cap off on the metal railing and then handed the bottle over to her. “Here.”
“Thanks,” Lisa said, her smile girlish and sweet as she took it between both of her hands, the sleeves of her sweater tugged down over her pale hands. “Ahh, it's wet!”
Miranda laughed and shook her head as Lisa shifted the bottle to her left hand, shaking the droplets of sterile slush from her sleeve and fingers.
“What's so funny?” Lisa asked, trying to sound affronted and doing a bad job.
“You are,” she shot back with a shameless grin. “You're up to your elbows in blood and guts all day and you're such a girl about some stuff. It's just funny.”
“Well, I am a girl, so that fits, I guess,” Lisa dryly, lips pursing as she lifted the bottle to those same lips and took a sip of beer. Moving closer, she folded her arms in front of her on the railing, matching Miranda's slouch. She reached under her left arm with her right hand, catching hold of the denim at the elbow of Miranda's jacket, giving it a light tug. “Tell me.”
Miranda glanced down and to the side, lips curling slightly at the tug on her sleeve, but the smile was only briefly in the present. It very soon took on a distant, troubled aspect. “Carson's son hadn't seen him in fifteen years,” she said softly, slowly shaking her head. “Sometimes I just... I just wonder why I came back here. It wasn't because it was the only place that would hire me. I got tons of other offers.”
“So? Why did you choose your father's hospital?” Lisa asked, leaning forward a bit so that she could see Miranda a bit more clearly.
“I hate this place,” Miranda said, letting out a choked laugh as she took another sip of her beer. Lowering the bottle again, she turned her eyes back to the river. “But it was his home. More than our house was.”
“Mir,” she whispered, expression pained as she reached up, placed her hand on Miranda's upper arm, gently grasping there.
“Did you know my father was buried here?” Miranda asked, aiming a quick, questioning glance at Lisa, brows lifting slightly. For her part, Lisa just gaped at her. “Yeah. St. Martin's cemetery, just across the river. Wanna know why he picked that one? It's not because we're Catholic... it's because you can see it from the roof of this hospital.”
“Wow,” Lisa murmured, casting green eyes out towards the river, herself. “I – I don't know what to say. God.”
“Do you think... he would have been proud of me today? Because I don't think so,” Miranda added, shaking her head.
“It wasn't your fault Carson had an aneurysm. It wasn't your fault that it blew. It wasn't your fault that he died, Miranda,” Lisa said, her words spoken quietly but steely with conviction. “Nobody could have prevented that. Not even you.”
“I try to be good like he was. Like Andy is. You know? Everyday, I try, but I keep missing the mark, somehow,” she murmured, bowing her head. “Maybe I just don't have it.”
“You don't have what? The dedication? Because Andy usually has to push you out the door every time your shift is up,” Lisa said with a barked laugh of disbelief. “Sophia could have chosen anyone to be lead doctor on today's run, but she picked you--”
“Lisa, I don't --” Miranda began, straightening up from the railing, turning to her, shaking her head.
“You've got the compassion, you've got the drive. You've got the best bedside manner of any doctor I've ever worked with,” Lisa went on, standing up straight herself and catching hold of the front of Miranda's denim jacket, giving it a tug. “You're not like Andy; you're not like your father. You're like yourself and I love that about you!”
Miranda hung her head with a sigh, shoulders slumping a bit as she reached with her free hand, carefully uncurled Lisa's fingers from the front of her jacket and bent slightly at the waist to press a kiss to the backs of her fingers. “Your fingers are cold,” she noted, lips brushing against the delicate skin of Lisa's slender fingers. She brought Lisa's hand to her chest, pressing the back of it to her heart and covering Lisa's palm with her own, holding it in place as she tried to gently rub some warmth back into her hand. “You know what else I've got?”
“Yes, I do,” she said, a small smile shaping her lips as she took a step closer. “You've got me.”
Looking up, Miranda net Lisa's gaze with a grateful smile, hand still rubbing Lisa's. “Yeah,” she agreed, nodding. “If it wasn't for you, I probably would have left months ago. You know that?”
“Yeah, I know,” Lisa replied, moving in close and slipping her arms around Miranda's waist while at the same time pressing herself close, embracing her and resting her chin on her shoulder. “I'm good with that.”
Miranda chuckled softly, her own arms closing around Lisa and holding on tight. “Oh, you are, huh?” She asked, a faintly playful edge to her words, to which Lisa giggled in response. “Is that right?”
“Very right,” Lisa agreed, nodding against Miranda's shoulder. “Because I'd miss you if you weren't here, Mir.”
“Well, I guess I'm not going anywhere, then,” she said, giving Lisa a squeeze. “Glad that's decided.”
“Me, too,” Lisa whispered. They were quiet for a while as they just held on to each other, but then Lisa finally took a deep enough breath so that she could speak again, her words coming out in the softest whisper. “I won't lie to you and say that it stops hurting. You're smart; you know that's not true. But I want to be here for you. I want to help try to make it better, Miranda.”
“You do,” she replied, just as softly, arms tightening around Lisa. “It's just... sometimes I wonder, you know? Did he just love this place that much or --”
“I don't –“ Lisa began, starting a bit as Miranda pulled away from her to turn back to the railing. Setting her bottle down on the edge of the balcony, she rested her hand lightly on Miranda's back, concern welling up in her chest, making it feel uncomfortably tight. “Mir? What do you wonder?”
“My father spent every last day of the last fifteen years of his life here. Building this hospital and the transplant unit, making them everything he dreamed they could be. I just wonder, sometimes, if the reason he spent all his time here is because of what everyone always says about him, you know? That he was this passionate, dedicated surgeon. Or...” There was a heavy, dreadful pause and Miranda took a deep drink from her beer. “Did he spend all his time here so he wouldn't have to see what a disappointment I was? Wouldn't have to come face to face with his failure?”
“Miranda,” Lisa let out a pained sigh as she slipped her arms around Miranda's waist from behind, burying her face in Miranda's shoulder as she held on tightly to her.
“Because I think I was,” she added, her voice sounding far away, detached from what she was saying but at the same time, strangely pensive. “I think I was the only thing he ever failed at in his life and he didn't know how to handle it.”
“Maybe he didn't,” Lisa said quietly, her tone even as she lifted her head. She reached up, one hand settling on Miranda's hair, gently stroking it. “But you know what? Hey... look at me.” It took a few moments and another bracing slug or two of beer, but Miranda finally craned her neck, peering at Lisa over her shoulder to meet her eyes. “I feel sorry for your father just like I felt sorry for Carson. Because your father never got to know you, never got the chance to meet the person you grew up to be. Never got the opportunity to see what an amazing doctor you are and what a wonderful woman you've become.”
“Thanks,” Miranda muttered under her breath, finally breaking eye contact with Lisa, her cheeks flushing ever so faintly pink at Lisa's words.
“You did good tonight, Mir. You helped to save a lot of people,” she whispered as she leaned in, resting her forehead against Miranda's cheek, nuzzling her skin lightly against Miranda's and feeling the warmth of that blush against her own skin. “It doesn't matter that your father built this place. It's not about that, anymore.”
“No? Well, then, what is it about?” Miranda asked, free hand settling on top of Lisa's where it rested at her waist, gripping it tightly.
“It's about you. Doing your best for this place and these people,” she said, lacing her fingers with Miranda's. “You care so much... and that matters, Mir. That makes a difference.”
“But we're not supposed to care, Leese,”she replied with a ragged sigh. “Not that much. That's not part of the rules.”
“Ha! Like you give a damn about the rules,” Lisa countered with a snort. “Yeah, right. I heard about that cop you faced off with in Boston!”
Those words coaxed a startled chuckle from Miranda. “Where'd you hear about that?” She asked.
“Ryan told me,” Lisa said matter-of-factly, letting out another huff of laughter.
“When?” She blurted out, eyes going wide, a tinge of panic in her voice.
“It was all he could talk about when I ran into him in the break room. You know, after you guys got back,” Lisa said with a smirk.
“Ohh, God,” Miranda groaned, turning her head a bit and giving it a shake. “So embarrassing.”
“Embarrassing!? No way! As a matter of fact, I think you've got a new fanboy,” she insisted with a giggle. “He was so amped up. All he could talk about was how take-charge and awesome you were. How you got right up in this cop's face and didn't back down for a second, even though the guy was, like, fifteen feet taller than you were.”
“He was not,” Miranda grumbled, face twisting into a peevish frown. “It was Ryan's first run, I think he just got a little... over-excited. Everything seems bigger and more intense when you're whacked out of your brain on adrenaline and blind panic and one too many Venti lattes.”
“Well, I'm sorry I didn't get to see it for myself,” Lisa said, a warm smile turning up the corners of her own mouth. “But that doesn't mean I'm not still insanely proud of you. Because I am.”
Miranda coughed, cleared her throat uncomfortably and shifted, bending to sit her beer on the edge of the railing next to Lisa's as she turned, draping her arms over Lisa's shoulders. “What about you? I heard you had a good day,” she began.
“Ooh, subtle,” Lisa teased, giggling a little as she slipped her arms around Miranda beneath her jacket, leaning against her even as Miranda leaned back against the railing. At least Miranda had the good grace to look bashful at her abrupt subject shift. “Yeah, I guess it was a pretty good day. Kristy Martinez got the only slightly dented but still beautiful pair of lungs which you brought back for her today.”
“So why do you still not look all right about that?” Miranda asked, head tilting slightly as she gazed at her steadily.
“I thought I really fucked up today,” she admitted with a tense sigh, ducking her head. “She asked for BiPap, because she'd had asthma her whole life, you know? Next thing I know, she's crashing and I -- I thought it was my fault. That I caused it.”
“Leese,” Miranda sighed, reaching up to smooth her hand over Lisa's hair, still in its snug, neat ponytail. “You couldn't have known.”
“Well, you didn't know, either,” Lisa countered, tipping her chin up a little so that she could meet Miranda's eyes. “About Carson.”
“No. You're right. I didn't,” she agreed, though with some degree of effort. “He was... a nice man. It just didn't feel fair, somehow. I guess I just -- I liked him. I liked Carson.”
“I know you did,” Lisa replied softly, leaning in to lightly brush the end of her nose against Miranda's. “That's okay. So, I guess it looks like neither of us got it as wrong as we thought we did.”
“Guess so,” Miranda said, giving a deliberate nod. Pursing her lips, she drew back a little to study Lisa's face carefully. “So now what?”
“Well, I was thinking I'd like to take you back to my place... and strip off these scrubs and give you a long, deep … massage,” she finished with a sly smile, lips brushing Miranda's as she spoke, drawing a husky chuckle from Miranda. “And then we can both crawl into a hot bath, have another beer or two, maybe some pizza...?”
“In the tub?” Miranda inquired with a snicker.
“Why not? You're a big fan of breaking the rules, right? I don't think a little pepperoni in the drain would be the end of the world, would it?” She teased, grinning as she ran her hands up and down along Miranda's sides beneath her jacket.
Another soft laugh and Miranda's smiling lips met Lisa's in a firm kiss for a moment before slowly breaking it. “Mmm. You got a deal, doc.”
"I know the world's been mean to you
I've got a cure
I know the world's not fair to you
I've got a cure for its crimes
I've got the cure
I've got the cure for you
I've got a cure
I've got the cure..."
"The Cure," Tegan and Sara (http://www.myspace.com/teganandsara)
Chapter 2 - Harry Potter and the Missing, Bloody Football Star by lilpinkchainsaw
What happened between the time Miranda walked out of the OR and she hopped on that helicopter to find Antonio? (Gap-filler for episode 1x04: Code Green).
It took Lisa a good ten minutes to find her. She checked everywhere – the breezeway overlooking the river, the locker room and showers, the transplant floor, the OR's, everywhere. The kid, Chad – the only one involved in the Route 18 bus roll who somehow, rather miraculously, had gotten out without so much as a single scratch – was trailing after her and was growing more impatient by the minute.
“...we looking for again?” He was asking, though Lisa was moving down each hall, turning corners and leaning in to rooms to check them so quickly that she only caught the tail end of his question.
“Her name's Dr. Foster,” Lisa explained, not looking back at him as she poked her head around the corner, peeking into a break room. There she found Alicia and a couple of her nurse friends from pediatrics stealing a few moments for themselves so they could down some much needed caffeine. Lisa offered them a quick, strained smile. “Hey! Have you guys seen Miranda?”
“Uhh, yeah, she was in here just a few minutes ago. She was fixing herself some tea,” Alicia said, brows creasing at the mention of Miranda. “Is she gonna be okay? I thought I saw her in the --”
“That's what I'm going to find out right now,” Lisa said, smile tensing further as she felt rather than saw Chad coming to stand beside her. “Dr. Jordan has a run for her... as soon as I find her. Did she say where she was going?”
“No, she – she didn't say much of anything, Doctor,” Alicia replied apologetically, shaking her head. “She just asked us if she could use some of the water from Marisol's electric kettle, grabbed some tea and took off.” Lisa felt something inside her wilt and her shoulders slumped a little as she sighed. She was about to turn and and start back in on the search, when she caught Alicia's next words, which stopped her in her tracks and had her reversing course to look back into the break room. “But! Wait, Dr. Reed! I – I think I saw her headed the other way. Towards Waiting Room B.”
Letting out an explosive sigh of relief, she gave Alicia a bright, grateful smile. “Thank you,” she said, hurriedly turning and striding off down the hallway towards the waiting room Alicia had indicated.
“What if you can't find her? What's going to happen to Antonio?” Chad was asking.
Lisa glanced over, finding the teenager doing his best to keep pace with her as she rushed down the hall, and offered him a reassuring smile. “Nothing's going to happen to your friend,” she assured him.
“He's... not my friend,” Chad admitted, looking a bit sheepish, but he soon drew himself up, put on the best approximation of what Reed guess he must have figured would be his “mature” expression. “That doesn't mean I want to see anything bad happen to him, though.”
“That's really cool of you,” Lisa replied gently, reaching out to give him a firm pat on the shoulder. “You're looking out for your teammate.”
“I'm not on the team, though, remember? I'm equipment,” he reminded her as they rounded a corner.
Lisa offered a quick smile to a pair of nurses coming down the hall from the other direction as they passed and then turned her attention back to Chad. “Well, that's part of the team, too. Football players can't be football players if they don't have all of their big shoulder things and the tight pants and helmets and stuff, right?”
“You don't know much about football, huh?” Chad asked, the corner of his mouth curling in a wry smile.
Lisa couldn't help but laugh as she pushed open one of the doors leading out to the main foyer of the hospital. All frosted glass and chrome and polished desktops, fancy art and exotic flowers. Miranda's father really had put a lot of work into the place – not just into the operating facilities and recovery rooms, but right out in front, too. She could have sworn she remembered Dr. Jordan mentioning something about what a pro Dr. William Foster had been when it came to wheedling money out of well-off donors, once. It had been just a brief, casual comment, but ever since she had gotten close to Miranda, she had started collecting all of the tiny little details she could pick up about Miranda's father and tucking them away into her memory for safe keeping. Somehow, by knowing more about William Foster, it helped her to feel closer to Miranda, even in those tiny, off-hand ways.
“Haley, have you seen Miranda?” Lisa asked as she strode past the reception desk.
The receptionist was a pretty redhead with corkscrew curls that trailed all the way down her back – she usually wore them bound together in a thick braid, but a few strawberry blond curls managed to sneak loose and fall down into her eyes. Haley smiled a bit as she looked up and saw Lisa, though it was a mix of happy and hesitant. “Yeah, I saw her. She's still in there, I think,” she said, pointing off towards a spot past the end of her desk.
A few yards away, there was a tiny waiting room tucked behind a column – glass doors, much like the rest of the place – and Lisa could see a shadow being cast on one of the inside walls. Shoulders hunched, head bowed. Lisa glanced at Haley and gave her a big smile. “Thank you! I'll so be bringing you some cocoa when I get back,” she said, patting her hand on the cool marble of Haley's counter.
“Thanks, Lisa,” Haley replied, giving a quick wave and smile to Chad as he and Lisa passed by on their way to the waiting room.
Lisa came to within grasping distance of the elegantly sculpted chrome handle of the waiting room door and paused. She turned on her heel, doing such a sudden about-face that Chad jumped a little as she did so. “Chad, can you do me a huge favor? Can you see if you can go and give Haley a hand with some things at the front desk? Help her do some filing or something? I need to talk to Dr. Foster and let her know what's going on.”
“Do we really have time for that? I mean, it's --” Chad hedged, eyes narrowing a bit as he glanced over at Haley's desk and then back at Reed uncertainly.
“We do. I promise,” Lisa said, reaching to grasp his shoulder for a moment. “I – Dr. Foster's my friend and … I need to help her, too, for a minute, okay?”
That seemed to make more sense to the teen and he relaxed a bit under Lisa's steadying hand. “Okay,” he said after a moment, peeking only just briefly over Lisa's shoulder as he turned to go, seeming to try to catch a glimpse of Miranda in the waiting room. He turned back to her after just a moment before meeting her eyes; apparently his attempt at out-in-the-open sneakery had come up with nothing.“I hope she's okay.”
“She will be,” Lisa assured him with a warm smile, giving his arm a quick pat. “Give me five minutes.”
“Cool,” Chad said and nodded, finally retreating off to Haley's desk.
As soon as Reed was sure the rattled young man was out of earshot as well as eye shot, she took a deep, deep breath and let it out slowly as she turned back to the door. She reached out, slender fingers curling around the cool metal handle, and pulled open the heavy glass waiting room door.
It being the middle of the night, the waiting room lights had been lowered to a dimmer setting, their gentle, golden warmth intended to have a calming effect on those who were captive there, perched on tenterhooks until they learned of their loved ones' fates. Whether it worked on those people or not was debatable, but Lisa could tell they weren't having the designer's intended result as soon as she stepped inside the waiting room herself.
Miranda was seated in one of the large, overstuffed leather armchairs sitting near the wall, but she wasn't relaxing. If anything, she was the very personification of Not Relaxing – seeming almost willfully to be going against the chair's very purpose. She was sitting forward, elbows resting on her knees, a large mug cradled in her hands and although her head was tilted down, her eyes fixed on the mug and what was in it, her eyes had that same familiar, faraway look in them. She wasn't seeing anything, wasn't thinking about anything. At least, not anything in the present.
“Hey, doc,” Reed said softly so as to not startle Miranda. Despite her best efforts, though, Miranda did draw in a sharp, soft breath, her shoulders tensing a little as she turned her head and glanced over her shoulder to find Lisa standing there.
Lisa offered her a small smile as she circled around the armchair and took a seat on the coffee table in front of Miranda. She reached out and grasped the mug Miranda held, gently lifting it out of her hands and setting it on the floor at the foot of the coffee table.
Almost as soon as the mug was out of her hands, Miranda was reaching up, palm settling over her mouth, rubbing there in that way she did so often when something was troubling her. Whenever there was a problem she couldn't solve, a criticism from a superior she couldn't digest or a delay she had to hone her patience for, her hand inevitably found its way to that spot, rubbing back and forth over her lips or her jawline.
Almost as soon as Miranda started up with that adorable tic of hers, Lisa sat up and reached out again, catching hold of Miranda's left wrist and gently drawing her hand away from her mouth even as she grasped Miranda's right hand, pulling them both slowly down. Her palms found their ways to Miranda's forearms, settling on the warm skin there – Miranda had doffed her white doctor's coat and draped it over the arm of the chair when she'd come in – and clasping lightly, fingers caressing there.
For just a moment, there had been a look of confusion, panic in Miranda's eyes as Lisa had begun to move her hands but as soon as she felt the touch of Lisa's skin against hers, Miranda sighed, seeming to cave into herself, shoulders sagging. Miranda's elbows still resting on her knees, palms facing up, she uncurled her own fingers, cradling Lisa's forearms and grasping there, her grip a bit more desperate than Lisa's own.
“Hey,” Miranda said quietly, a faint smile turning up the corners of her mouth, though she didn't meet Lisa's eyes.
“Hi,” Lisa said, her voice just as soft as she tilted her head, surreptitiously studying Miranda. “How are you? I saw you heading out of the ER -- I didn't know what was going on. Was everything okay in there?”
“Not really,” she said after a long moment of wordlessness. “We lost the quarterback. Blair Hubbell. I had to go in and explain to his parents why their 17-year-old son was laying in our ICU, brain dead, when just a few hours ago he was throwing passes. When I was 17, I was off smoking pot and skipping school and daydreaming about going to the prom with Charlie Wiles, but this kid... shit.”
“I know,” Lisa said, hands slowly smoothing over Miranda's skin. She could feel Miranda's hands moving over her forearms, mirroring her touches. It seemed to be helping her, a little. At least, Lisa hoped it was. “It sucks.”
Miranda let out a weak chuckle. “Yeah,” she said finally, lifting her head to meet Lisa's eyes, her own eyes darker, tormented. “Yeah, it does. It sucks.”
“I'm sorry, Mir,” Lisa whispered, fingers curling around Miranda's forearms, grasping tighter as she met and held those sad hazel eyes.
Miranda's lips pursed in a strained smile and she nodded. “I was trying to help Dr. Jordan with a patient right after. She... told me to go 'get some air', since the patient had been down for nearly forty-five minutes,” she finished with a sigh.
Taking a deep breath, Lisa kept staring squarely into Miranda's eyes. “You didn't know. You were helping,” she said quietly.
“I was overcompensating,” Miranda corrected her as she started to straighten up in her seat, drawing her hands back as she did so. Lisa felt something in her chest sink, only to buoy back up again as she realized Miranda was sliding her hands away so that she could firmly clasp each of Lisa's hands in hers. “I think everybody knew it but me.”
“She's not mad at you, Miranda,” she murmured, scooting forward a bit until their knees touched. “She needs you for a run. I was looking all over the place, trying to find you so I could let you know.”
“Really?” Miranda asked, eyes widening a little in startlement. “What's – why, what's going on?”
“We're missing somebody,” Lisa replied evenly. “One of the kids, one of the boys on the team is unaccounted for. Chad, you know the little guy with the glasses --”
“The one that looks like Harry Potter minus the scar?” Miranda asked, eyes narrowing a little as she tried to recall the young man. She'd barely caught a glimpse of him as they'd been wheeling in Blair Hubbell, huddled off to one side with an EMT, dusty and dirty and obviously shaken by what he'd been through.
“That's the one,” she said with a soft laugh. “He's the equipment manager for the team. I was going over a list of the people involved in the bus rollover and something didn't look right. I brought Chad over to look with me and he said there's a kid named Antonio whose name didn't show up on any of the lists for any of the three receiving hospitals in the area.”
“Shit,” Miranda muttered under her breath, eyes slanting off to one side for a moment as she considered the implications of what Lisa was saying. She met Lisa's eyes again as she asked, “are they getting the chopper ready?”
“They are right now, but we have to hurry,” Lisa said, smiling broadly as she stood, still holding only surely to Miranda's hands and using those two hold points to draw her up onto her own feet. “You've got maybe ten minutes before they're ready to go.”
“Shit!” Miranda spat, letting go of Lisa's hands and spinning about to grab her doctor's coat. “C'mon, we gotta go.”
“I had Pam start a bag for you with all the essentials. It'll be waiting in the ER,” she explained as she followed after Miranda, unable to hide the grin on her face. Nothing like a disaster or news of a missing patient to rouse Miranda from her brooding.
Miranda was about to reach for the door handle when she stopped and turned, pivoting herself back towards Lisa who was standing just behind her, intending to follow her through the door once it was opened. There was a moment's hesitation, but soon Miranda was leaning in, lips finding their way to Lisa's in a firm but grateful kiss. “Thanks,” she said, the words barely audible between them as their lips parted again.
“You're welcome,” Lisa whispered, smiling sweetly as she reached up and lightly touched Miranda's cheek. “You'd better hurry. You still have to get your stuff.”
“Shit!” Miranda half-shouted, which startled a laugh out of Lisa as she turned back to the door, grabbed the handle and gave it a firm yank.
“I love you,” Lisa said through the laughter. The words had come out, purely on impulse, as natural and unforced as you please, but it was enough to make Miranda fall still again, her hand still holding the door open, though the rest of her was frozen in place.
It only lasted a moment, but Miranda was soon smoothly holding the door open, leaning her whole slight weight back against the door to keep it open for Lisa, watching her like a hawk as she gestured for her to go by. “We're talking later,” she warned Lisa as she passed, her eyes intense and dark, though there was a strange twist of humor, there, too – a sort of playful threat to the words.
For her part, Lisa simply smiled as she went by. “Okay,” she replied, expression positively angelic as she stepped out of the waiting room. “Hey, Chad?”
“Yeah?” The kid was behind Haley's desk, arm full of manila file folders as he turned to look at Lisa, his glasses sitting slightly lopsided on the bridge of his nose.
God, he really does look like Harry Potter, Lisa thought to herself with a mental chuckle as she walked up to the counter with Miranda following at her side. She felt Miranda's hand brush the back of hers, sending delightful sparks all the way up along her arm and through the rest of her body. “We're going back to the ER, okay? Come on back with us,” she said, waving a hand at him. Even as he handed the armload of folders back to Haley and smiled sheepishly at her, Lisa found herself looking him over with those doctor's eyes of hers – trying to see if there had been anything she'd missed when they'd checked him in the ER. A limp, any hint of dizziness or unsteadiness on his feet, but … there was nothing. Lisa found herself marveling at the resilience of young people, thinking that if only everyone could always stay so very nearly invincible, she'd have much less work to do. “This is Dr. Foster,” she said, gesturing to her as she and Miranda started towards the door that led off to the hospital proper. Chad gave a quick little jog and caught up with them in just a moment. “She's going to be taking the chopper back to Route 18 to look for your friend.”
“Hi,” Miranda said, ever the pro-actively friendly one, as she reached in front of Lisa, forearm brushing Lisa's stomach just briefly as she shook hands with the teenager. “How are you doing? Hanging in there okay?”
“Yeah, kind of,” Chad said, though his smile was markedly subdued as he shook hands with Miranda. “Are you gonna be able to find Antonio?”
“I'm gonna do my best,” Miranda said honestly as she shouldered a nearby door open. It led into the first floor locker/shower room and she disappeared down one row of lockers. “I'll be right back. I've gotta grab my jacket.”
“Oh, hey! Wait a sec,” Lisa called, hurrying into the locker room after her. She moved to her own locker which was a row ahead of Miranda's and a few lockers down, fingers quickly working on the combination lock holding the narrow, grated door closed. “I just remembered something.”
“What?” Miranda called back as she worked the combination on her own lock.
“The forecast said there's gonna be freezing temps out there tonight, so take this,” Lisa said, darting around the end of her row to toss Miranda her black hoodie.
Miranda caught the flying bundle of black with one arm, glancing down at the hoodie for a moment before looking back up at Lisa, a lopsided smile curling up one corner of her mouth. “Thanks,” she said.
“You're welcome,” she replied, lifting one shoulder in an easy shrug, her own lips shaping into a grin. “I figure I'm not going out there tonight -- you might as well use it. I mean, that jacket of your looks cool but it doesn't look like it does much to hold in body heat, either.”
Taking a second to nuzzle her nose into the soft cotton and smelling hints of Lisa's scent, Miranda chuckled as she slipped into the hoodie and zipped it up. “You think my jacket looks cool?” She asked, a sly, exceedingly casual edge to her words, eyes focused on the combination lock as she worked on getting it open.
“Very,” Lisa said with a laugh as she disappeared around the end of the bank of lockers once more so that she could shut her locker and replace the padlock on it. “Okay, hurry up. You only have a few more minutes.”
“Okay,” Miranda called back, the clang of her metal locker door opening echoing through the empty locker room.
Once Lisa had secured her own padlock, she headed for the door, where she could see Chad hovering uncertainly. She opened her mouth to reassure Chad, but before she had a chance to speak, she heard Miranda's voice. “We're still talking later!”
Lisa did all she could to tamp down the smile that wanted to surface at Miranda's words – it wouldn't help Chad if he thought she wasn't taking this very dire situation seriously – and could only hope that Chad didn't see any hint of an inappropriate expression. Craning her neck to peer into the locker room, she called back, “okay!” before turning back to Chad, schooling her expression into one of reassuring calm. “She'll be out in just a second,” she said to Chad, reaching out to give him a pat on the shoulder. “As soon as she grabs her stuff and her bag from the ER, she'll be all ready to go.”
No sooner than Lisa said those words did she hear the clang of Miranda's locker door being slammed closed, followed in short order by the clunk of her padlock being clicked into place. Quick footsteps and then the weight of the locker room door was being eased from Lisa's shoulder as Miranda came up behind her, pushing the door open a bit as she did so. Lisa turned a bit and could see that Miranda had pulled her denim jacket on over her own black hoodie and had added a warm wool cap and fingerless gloves to fight the harsh chill of the night air.
“Okay, let's get going,” Miranda said, giving Lisa's hip a slight, gentle nudge to get her moving, though her tone was all business. “Chad, I need you to do me a favor, okay? Tell me what you remember about your buddy Antonio. Did he have any injuries that you could tell?”
“I don't remember too much. It was kinda dark out there,” Chad mumbled as he fell into step alongside Foster and Reed. “It was hard to see, but I think he had a pretty bad cut on his head, somewhere. I could see blood.”
“Okay,” Miranda said evenly, eyes fixed on the path ahead of her, although she was essentially operating on auto-pilot, body moving on its own while her brain was focused on the problem at hand. “Were you able to see if he had any other injuries? Maybe a broken arm or a broken leg?”
“No, I – I couldn't tell. He was just kind of sitting there with his hands on his head. He looked pretty out of it,” Chad said as they made their way back towards the ER. “It might sound bad, but... I was just really worried about Blair.”
Those words caused Miranda's steps to slow, even though they had very nearly reached the double doors that let out into the ER proper. The urgent momentum of Lisa's own steps tapered off and she glanced between the two of them worriedly. She knew how important Blair had been to Chad, how important it had been to him to see his friend come out of the crash okay – but at the same time she knew that even with as someone as talented as Miranda working on Blair, there were some things you just couldn't fix. It had been one of the most difficult things for her to come to understand and accept about the job and even now, she still had to work on letting go of the frustration and feelings of helplessness but, in a way, it helped her to know that Miranda had much the same problem, herself.
Coming to a stop, Miranda took a moment to draw in a deep breath and she slowly turned to Chad, her expression sober, eyes darkened with apology. “I'm... I'm so sorry about your friend, Chad,” she said quietly. “I promise you that we did everything we could for him.”
“Yeah,” Chad whispered, ducking his head, pain coming off of him in palpable waves. “God! You know, Antonio is such a freaking jerk! He was giving me crap on the bus and that's why Blair switched seats with me. If Antonio hadn't been hassling me, Blair never would have --”
“Hey, listen – nononono, you can't think about it that way. No,” Miranda said, reaching out to grasp Chad's shoulders as she shook her head. “Listen, what happened out there wasn't anybody's fault. It's just what happened. The bus tire blew out and you guys got hurt, but what happened to Blair wasn't your fault and it wasn't Antonio's fault. Stuff like this just happens. Nobody's to blame, here. Okay?”
“It still sucks,” Chad muttered under his breath, rubbing his nose on the back of his sleeve.
Miranda spared a quick glance at Lisa, a brief, rueful smile appearing as Chad echoed Lisa's own words from earlier but then she turned her attention back to the teen. “Yeah, I know,” she agreed, giving his shoulders a careful squeeze. “But we're doing everything we can to fix this, all right? I'm going right now to find Antonio and then that's everybody on your bus accounted for. Then once we know everybody's here, we can help them.”
“Yeah,” he said softly, nodding.
“Did Pam let him call his parents?” Miranda asked, narrowed eyes darting over to Lisa for a moment.
“Yeah, he left them a message. Right, Chad? Your mom's out of town, right?” Lisa asked, hand settling on Chad's back and gently rubbing there.
“Yeah. I called and left her a voice mail so she knows what's going on,” Chad confirmed.
“Okay, good,” Miranda said, nodding a bit as she straightened up. “Listen, Lisa, can you do me a favor? Page Alicia and tell her to check in on Chad when she gets a minute. I wanna make sure he has someone with him when his mom calls back.”
“Okay, no problem,” Lisa said, nodding.
“Okay, excellent,” she said, head bobbing in approval. Gently releasing Chad's shoulders, Miranda stepped back a bit and studied the two of them for a moment. Her gaze met Lisa's and she could see her own concern for the young man reflected in Lisa's eyes. “All right. Let's get back in there. Chad, I'm gonna go and find your buddy. I'll be back as soon as we do find him, okay?”
“Yeah,” Chad said, nodding his head. He didn't sound convinced. He sounded exhausted and scared. Miranda couldn't help but feel a pang of sympathy for the kid – even though his teammate had been a jerk to him, he was still worried for his safety. It was the mark of a truly compassionate soul and Miranda couldn't help but admire it.
“Okay,” Miranda said finally, smiling a little as she gave him one last pat on the shoulder. "You go with Lisa. She's gonna get Alicia to come and check in on you and I'm gonna get out of here."
"Yeah," he said again, giving another wooden nod as he shuffled over to the door, Lisa trailing after him, one hand resting lightly on his back.
"Get him some hot chocolate or something and a blanket, okay?" Miranda said softly as Lisa went by, reaching out to lightly touch the fingers of Lisa's free hand as she passed. "Please?"
Lisa nodded, a small smile shaping her lips as she did so. "Okay," she whispered. "See you when you get back."
"Yeah," Miranda said, her own smile subdued but determined as she slipped through the door behind Lisa.
"Bag's by the door, Miranda!" Pam said as she hurried by, arms full of charts and file folders.
"Thanks," Miranda called after her, chuckling a little at the petite nurse as she scooped up the bag by its handle where Pam had left it sitting just inside the door, feeling the heft of all the bandages and supplies inside it as a steady tension along the length of her arm.
Hefting the bag over her shoulder, Miranda spared one last glance in Lisa's direction, catching just the briefest glimpse of blond hair and that hand still settled gently on the shoulder of her worried charge as Lisa led Chad back to a quiet spot away from the hustle and noise and blood where he belonged.
They were definitely going to have to talk, and soon, but right now she had a missing football player to track down.
"My Best Defense," by Single File - As Lisa finds Miranda and they talk.
"You just disappear from view
You don't even have to try
To make a nuisance of yourself
You deny all knowledge
That anything ever happened here
Did it ever happen
So where did you go?
Come back and finish me
But you're just a moth so
Make a nuisance of, YOURSELF
Someday you will find
You can't stand YOURSELF
You'll radiate you self-hate
Are you aware of the smoke?
It's getting in my face
I dedicate this song to you
For choking up my life
So who'll stop the killing spree
So where did you go?
Come back and finish me
But you're just a moth so
Make a nuisance of, YOURSELF
Someday you will find
You can't stand YOURSELF
You'll radiate your self-hate"
- "Moth," by People in Planes - as Miranda says goodbye to Lisa and Chad and takes off to find Antonio
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.