Things seemed to be moving in slow motion around Shane. She watched her friends move their mouths, but she was blocking out most of what they were saying. Which didn’t bother Shane in the least bit, since she still felt betrayed by Alice and Bette.
Hearing Alice babble on about whether or not she was going to get enough votes to be a co host on The Look; seemed like torture. Pretending to show some type of pity when Bette whined about how Jodi’s piece had humiliated and possibly ruined her career, was… well Shane just wanted to reach out and slap the shit out of her and yell, “ Who gives a fuck about Jodi’s piece, you deserved it! Didn’t you fuck HER over, didn’t YOU humilate HER?”
Shane snickered a little to herself, thinking of how Jenny would think that, that visualization of slapping Bette would be funny, too.
The thought made the smirk slowly disappear from Shane’s lips. She realized that she could point those same questions at herself. So instead of going ballistic, she threw in a nod here and there as Alice, Bette, Helena and Kit continued to talk. Nothing seemed to matter anymore.
She looked around the table at each woman. She’d always felt like the outsider within their group before Jenny came to L.A. Then they had met and later became friends. It was like Shane had someone who just got her, finally. She knew all of her friends were special, but with Jenny it was different. It was deeper.
Shane could feel herself getting panicked. There were three other times when she felt this empty; her mom abandoning her when she was little, when Dana died and when Shay left with her dad.
It was the sentence “does Jenny know about the ending of the movie being changed?” that snapped Shane back to reality.
“I don’t think..”
Shane put up a hand to stop Bette from answering and said loudly. “ Wait a minute. What?”
Jenny stood at the kitchen sink, she’d been frustrated because she had tried to sit down and write something again. Instead of actually writing, she ended up going on Craig’s List and looking up apartment listings. It almost seemed as if the one thing that had always brought her solace, was no longer comforting to her. She sighed and opened the fridge pulling out the vanilla soy milk, pouring herself a glass. She turned to put the milk away and her elbow knocked the glass onto the floor. She jumped when she heard the crash, staring at the white liquid and shimmering shards of glass spread on the floor.
“Fuck.” Jenny mumbled and bent down to start picking up the pieces of glass. She grabbed them quickly, feeling angry and then jerked when she felt a sharp pain. Jenny gasped and looked at the palm of her hand, a small cut began to weep blood. Jenny didn’t move, she just stared at the cut. It suddenly didn’t hurt anymore. The small woman sat down slowly onto the floor, ignoring the cold wetness of the milk drenching her jeans.
She was mesmerized by the deep wine color of her blood. She felt numb.
It would be so easy just to…
“No.” Jenny said mentally and verbally.
She shook her head as if to clear the thought from her head.
I’m stronger than this.
She said that over and over to herself. She gazed at the cut and a tear fell when she felt the twinge of pain from it. She felt it.
I don’t need to do it. I’m stronger.
Jenny let out the breath she had no idea she was holding, and allowed herself to feel the coldness of her milk soaked pants. She remembered the trick one of her doctors had taught her about staying in the now. She focused on her surroundings and was soon able to push herself up from the floor and carefully begin to clean up the mess, wincing, thankfully, at the aching pain from her hand.
“Can we stop them from doing that?” Shane asked.
Bette shrugged. “I don’t know, Tina is at home trying to see if there are any other options.”
“I can see if there is anything I can do, Shane. Unfortunately, this type of thing happens all the time in the movie industry.” Helena said softly.
“This is going to destroy Jenny.” Alice said crossing her arms.
“No.” Shane said simply. “I will not let it.”
“Shane..” Bette started.
“I said I will not let that happen.” Shane stood up and quickly left, leaving the others staring after her.
As she strode to her jeep, Shane pulled out her phone and dialed a number. She slipped behind the wheel and waited for the other person to answer. “It’s Shane. We need to talk…no…today. Now.”
Shane walked into the busy salon and looked around, finally spotting the woman sitting at the nail bench. The dark haired woman was talking to the nail technician flippantly. Shane took a few steps in her direction, before being stopped by the receptionist.
“Can I help you?” the short blonde asked.
Shane glanced at her for a minute, then returned her eyes to the other woman. “No, I’m here to speak to her.” Shane pushed her chin in the direction of the nail station.
The blonde kept her smile polite. “I’m sorry, but she’s not to be disturbed.”
Shane opened her mouth to protest, but then the familiar voice called out. “It’s okay, Kristi, I was expecting her.”
Shane passed Kristi. The woman turned in her seat, holding up two different shades of red finger nail polish in her hand.
“Which shade do you think I should go for, Shane? Vamp red or Malaga Wine?” She asked not looking up.
Jenny finished cleaning up the mess and hopped in the shower, rinsing away the sick sweet smell of the milk. She wrapped a towel around her and padded out to her computer again.
“Alright, let’s try this again.” Jenny said to herself and stared at the blank screen.
Jenny closed her eyes trying to envision words or something…anything. All she saw was a big brick wall.
She clasped her small hands over her face and gave a little frustrated squeal and stomped her feet.
Jenny got up and decided she couldn’t stay cooped up in the house any longer. She needed to get out and try to keep her mind off all of the recent drama. Where the fuck could she go, that wouldn’t remind her? The Planet was out, of course. No way was she going there, yet.
She saw some movement from the window of Bette’s dining room and walked over to peek out her own window. Jenny saw Tina shuffling through papers and then resting her chin on her hand, reading. Tina looked stressed, her blonde hair pulled into a pony tail with pieces falling out all over. Jenny smiled softly, realizing she knew where to go.
“Hearing from you was surprising to say the least.” Adele gazed up at Shane, her almond shaped eyes hid slightly by her bangs. She looked away and handed one of the polishes over to the nail technician. Dear lord, it really was creepy how much she looked like Jenny, but Adele couldn’t hold a candle to Jenny’s beauty, in Shane’s opinion.
“You can’t let them change the ending to Jenny’s movie. You know how important it is to her.” Shane stood strong in her stance.
Adele rolled her eyes. “Oh, is that why you HAD to see me? Shane, if it had been so important to her, she wouldn’t have fucked around with the project, as much as she did. We want Lez Girls to be sponsored and to be seen by a diverse audience. If changing the ending will make that happen, then I’m willing to make that sacrifice.”
Shane took off her sunglasses and placed them onto the table. “It’s not YOUR sacrifice to make, Adele. I thought you wanted this movie to be true to the way Jenny wrote it to be.”
Shane tried to keep her composure, but she was two seconds away from “going street on this bitch” as Kit would say.
“It is mine to make. This movie is mine now. The story is still the same, just with a little tweek.” Adele held up a hand to look at her nails.
“That’s bullshit!” Shane spat out.
“That’s Hollywood.” Adele said just as quickly. “Either way there is nothing you can do about it.”
“I’ll find a way to get the ending she deserves.”
Adele laughed letting her head fall back. “What is an unemployed hairdresser, who knows nothing about this industry, going to do?”
Shane thought for a moment, then smiled slightly. She bent down, her face inches from Adele’s, making sure that she was looking into her eyes. “ I might not know anything about this movie shit, but I have friends who do.”
Adele stared back into Shane’s determined eyes. Shane moved her hand quickly to grab her sunglasses, causing Adele to jerk slightly. “Don’t fuck with me.”
Shane smiled politely, pushing her sunglasses back on, her husky voice pouring out like liquid. “I hope the rest of your manicure is relaxing.”
Author's Chapter Notes:
No copyright infringement intended. All L Word characters are owned by their creators.
Chapter End Notes:
Thanks to DD for going over this chapter with me and giving me a slight kick in the ass to write another chapter, even if you didn't know you did.
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