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Story Notes:
I started writing this story for the 2008 NaNoWriMo; I had the idea a while back but decided to wait until November to start writing it. I made it to 50 000 words at the end of November but I didn't finish the story. There's still a lot that needs to be added, rewritten and deleted and it's taking some time to finish all of it. Trust me, if you write 50 000 words in 30 days, there's a lot of fixing to do.

If some things seem strange, or if some characters don't quite act how you expect them to; give them some time. The story is written backwards in a way and has a lot of flashbacks, so things will be explained eventually.

This story is dedicated to the person who inspired me and told me I had to write this, and who helped me with pretty much all the research. You know who you are, and this is for you. Thank you.

Disclaimer: The L Word and its characters belong to their respective owners. No copyright infringement intended. I own nothing but the story itself. The chapter titles are taken from song titles and lyrics from Evanescence songs. No copyright infringement intended there either.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Flashback. Someone is having a really bad day.
One month earlier…

Finally alone in her trailer, she sat down and placed her left hand on her forehead, resisting the urge to rub her eyes and possibly smear her make-up all over her face. All she wanted right now was to lie down and try to get some rest, but the day had just started and she wouldn’t get to go home any time soon. She had no idea what was going on – no matter how much sleep she got it never seemed to be enough, and it was becoming increasingly harder to hide it from the rest of the world.

For what could be the millionth time, the thought crossed her mind that going through with the Pink Ride had probably not been the best idea after all. Not just because it was exhausting, but holding on to the handlebars had been a living hell at times. When she held up her right arm it felt like her shoulder blade was on fire. She’d spent most of her time with her girlfriend but she doubted that even she had noticed the constant pain she was in and in spite of how she felt now, she was still glad she’d finished the race for Dana like she’d meant to.

She was fairly certain none of her friends had noticed anything yet either. Sometimes, especially the last couple of weeks since the pain had kept getting worse, her mood hadn’t been what it used to. At least this morning when they all had breakfast at The Planet she’d been able to blame her period for it because that seemed to be what everyone was doing – even though she wasn’t even on it right now. She hadn’t even told her best friend and roommate what was going on, because when it all came down to it, she didn’t know that much herself.

It was becoming painfully obvious to her though, that whatever was causing it didn’t plan on stopping on its own accord. Taking a deep breath, she decided it was time she did something about it and took out her phone, but she didn’t even get a chance to start dialling the number before she heard a knock on the door that opened immediately after and one of the assistants stepped into the trailer.

“We need you on the set.”

“Oh, right, I’m sorry,” she replied with a quick nod and frowned as she put the phone back in her pocket. The fact that she still had things to do had completely slipped her mind somehow and she realized she’d have to call the hospital later when she could find time to do it.

She had just put her hand down on the arm of the chair to push herself up when the pain in her side suddenly worsened and made her groan and bend forward while she pressed her other hand on the sore spot right under her ribs on her right side. She pinched her eyes shut, trying to get the room to stop spinning.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah it’s okay. I’m fine,” she assured her, trying to shrug it off and make it seem like it was nothing. “It’s just that time of the month. I’ll be there in a sec.”

“Okay, I’ll let them know you’re on your way,” the other woman replied, eyeing her skeptically as if she wasn’t sure whether it’d be safe to leave her there like that or not, before she finally decided it was and left the trailer.

Alone again at last, she sighed and ran her fingers through her dark brown hair before covering her face with her hands. This was not going to be a good day, she could feel it.

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